Lucky Stars and Teary Eyes

The first school term of the year is done. And I am so done with it. I really deserve a pat on the back for surviving it. The term has such a negative connotation to it that I hesitate to use it but it is also so apt. Or maybe the first term of the year will always be this way and I just got to get used to it? But anyway this post focuses on the culmination of this 10 weeks.

The last day of school term began with an odd request for all students to report to the hall instead of parade square for our usual assembly. I knew it had something to do with prize presentation for Good Deed Awards which included awardees who found and returned a 20 cents coin. (raised eyebrow) It was a long (and tedious) list and line of students to receive badges from the principal.

Our new principal...I can rave about her all day =) I am her woman through and through (like Harry is Dumbledore's man through and through, get it?) the moment she announced that she will tackle the discipline issue of our school. Every teacher deserves to feel safe! And during our recent FGD session, she revealed (without giving away too many details) that she had something up her sleeves to not just focus on the bad but the good as well..

It was announced that the one and only class which managed to achieve zero latecoming for the entire term was going to be rewarded. What better reward for secondary one kids than........ drum roll please........... Free MacDonalds breakfast! The entire hall went crazy! The atmosphere then was electric and in a good way that one does not often feel in that particular hall...

I really have to give it to her for coming up with the ingenious idea of "Lucky StaRs" - I will never again think of them as just those strips of papers you fold endlessly in my own secondary school days.. She announced that to recognize the other good students who have zero latecoming and no conduct issue, all of their names were collated into a list and out of this list, 3 lucky StaRs were randomly picked to receive Swensen vouchers. *jaw drop*

try and imagine expectant senior citizens standing around a radio as the 4D numbers for the week is announced.... that was exactly the kind of situation we had in the hall as names of deserving students and their respective class flashed across the big screen against a background picture of you-guessed-it folded lucky stars.. held breathes, loud cheers, thunderous claps, big smiles.. it was wonderful to witness it all... and as a fellow colleague had put it.. I had never been prouder to be part of this school.

But that was not what led to the teary eyes.. hmmm...teary eyes were due to the Parent Engagement Session that followed in the afternoon till evening. Mainly. But come to think of it, there had been many more occasions in the past 10 weeks when teary eyes had similarly threatened... which really made me question myself if I am in the right job... how can one says you are a professional when you have trouble keeping emotions in check when you feel it so deeply in the heart.. I want to be there for them so much but am I the right person?

okay... teary eyes threatening again.. signing out.

Taking the plunge

*This blog has been silent for more than 2 years! Coincidentally, this post is related to a Facebook post I put up almost exactly 2 years ago.. interesting.. well technically I have been writing a lot in the past 2 years despite the silence here... assignments for a Masters in Science Communication got to count for something!*

2016 did not start on a good note and throughout the year there seemed to be endless shocking news coming from all over the world. But it had been surprisingly kind to me... in fact, if I recount my accomplishments for the year, I can come up with a sizeable list!

1. I survived SSS (despite the initial despair)
2. I sky dived!
3. I completed my Masters
4. I achieved the Spartan Trifecta
5. I bought a place of my own
6. I did white water rafting
7. I resisted temptation and not made the same mistake

But most importantly, I had been kind and I loved

However, there was one symbolic act that really stood out for me this year which took place just a few days ago......

I used to really love swimming.. so much so that I got so tanned that ah ma called me hei zhen zhu or Black Pearl. Yet, somehow over the years, pool water became too cold for me to swim in. I blame diving which pampered me with full body suits. Unless it is a heated pool or the weather and temperature are unbearably hot, I found the direct contact between my bikini-clad body and any body of water impossible.. =(

Then in Dec 2014, I read somewhere (note to self to always credit sources!) of the following anecdote:

I shared it on Facebook as a reminder to self to do the same. Took me 2 years to actually realise it.

So a few days ago, I woke up and decided to go for a swim. I hesitated because the sun was not yet strong or bright but I remembered the story and went ahead to put on my swimming suit and proceeded to the pool. I did not test the water. I just dove right in. Although it was cold but it also really felt "lovely". =) (And I completed 10 laps!)

This single act signified to me that I am capable of overcoming a self-imposed barrier; that nothing is impossible or unachievable; it made me believe in myself and my greatness more. This reminds me of a quote from someone who says nobody benefits from your being small. I don't want to be small anymore.. I want to develop to MY full potential.

2017 can only be better =

TFIOS

Sharing my love for reading with the Pathlighters. Instead of my favourite book, shared the book i last read this month... The book left me a little emo for a few days which meant it is a really good book, at least to me..

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If you go to Popular bookstore, you will find this book under the Young Adults section. This is actually a book I would not pick up because I am not part of the target audience and thus although it was published in 2012 and the movie came out this year, I only read it very recently and quite by chance. However, I am very glad I did as i thoroughly enjoyed it and finished it within days!

Personally, good books are ones that enable me to learn more about something new, or is so interesting that I just have to read another page, or when what i read strikes a chord within me, as if it is stating exactly how i once felt. TFIOS fulfilled all three. I learnt about cancer, I read past many midnights and it is filled with quotations which made me want to post on Facebook to share with my friends.

So today I am thankful for this chance to share my love for reading with all of you through some of the quotes and what i learnt from this particular book.

Importance of fiction. The main character, Hazel, has a favourite book in the story. Yes, a book within a book. With it, the theme of the value of fiction surfaces. It brings up the point that made up stories can matter, especially when it matches the reader’s own experiences. It can bring comfort, joy and companionship. Personally, I like it when reading brings me into a different world that I can escape to and learn from. And like this quote, I often cannot find words for my thoughts and feelings but in books i sometimes find the answers i seek.

The theme of suffering. The story is basically about teenagers dying from cancer. It is a little bleak. It is not just physical pain but also emotional pain, hurt. The physical pain from suffering from a disease and the emotional hurt for being a human with feelings. Although it is not pleasant, it is a part of life. Like death is a part of life and how we all have to learn to accept it and through this suffering we can grow. And when we learn to accept it, we can truly appreciate joy.

Love. It is essentially a love story between two youngsters. How romantic love at that stage of life can be reckless yet sweet. But there is also the love from parents, family and friends. The extent to which one is willing to sacrifice for a loved one, be it a friend, a child or a partner, can be extraordinary. Hazel described herself as a grenade because she was loved despite her terminal illness. From this, I am reminded to always cherish our loved ones while we still can.

Fate. Insensitivity of the universe. The reality is we do not always get what we want; we often do not see our wishes and dreams come true. And it is not that the world is against us, it is just the way life is. We are all in fact very insignificant compared to the universe and have no control over what happens to us. But one thing i learnt is that we certainly can decide how we want to respond and that responding positively and kindly will always be the right choice. even when the world refuses to grant us our most desired wishes.

So, this is the book I last read. It certainly will not be the last book I ever read. As I said at the beginning i am really glad i picked it up and am pleasantly surprised by it. I want to encourage all of you to pick up reading. It can be this book, can be the nearest book near you, or a book that catches your eye in the newest library of Singapore but read. There are much treasures within one. Leaving you with one last quote from the book, hoping that you will get to feel that way some time.

Thank you!

dive-eat-sleep-repeat

Just returned from a vacation. As I was out at sea for 4 days and nights, am still feeling landsick (ie: as though still floating in water when standing on firm ground). But. What a glorious holiday filled with so many firsts:

·        1^st time holidaying with May and Bee

·        1^st time to pack so little for a 6 days trip

·        1^st time in Similan Islands, Khao Lak

·        1^st time  to experience liveonboard

·        1^st time losing my snorkelling mask

·        1^st time losing my dive group while underwater

·        1^st time writing in a dive logbook

Yes. Finally started a dive log, albeit most reluctantly. It was good fun to sit down and do or copy “homework” after each dive. I learnt that it’s up to me! So I don’t have to stress over identifying the multitude of species of sea creatures but just pen down my feelings and experiences instead. I can do that! And certainly not restricted to dives… time to dust off the many (empty) travel journals I acquired…

Although I should be excused as it was my first liveonboard experience, I did feel that I didn’t pack right.. well.. at least I didn’t overpack?!?! Still, there were many items I wished I had with me during the trip. I wished I brought along rashguard and long tights – not at all proud of the ugly tan lines across my thighs and upper arms.. =/ also realised it’s time I invest in more than just a mask for diving, booties or even socks will prevent blisters from fins! Thankfully my 2 hair ties lasted the trip but can never have too many hair ties when you do not want hair to obscure the beautiful scenes the ocean has to offer.. can’t believe I left all 6 or 7 sarongs at home! Certainly a better between-dives-attire than just a tee.. Even though I set out not wanting to be bothered with photo taking, I really should have brought along at least one memory device! Finally, bring a multi-colors pen!!!

 

It was a very, immensely, awesomely enjoyable trip! I keep recalling my huge, sunny smiles and the emotions of joy and carefreeness throughout the trip. Even before arriving in Thailand, I was filled with excitement in anticipation.

At various points: having Dylan and Erica to send me off at the airport, performing the “manta call”, discovering the tiny beings – shrimps, nudibranchs, ghost pipefish, mothfish – to catching sight of the big guys – moray eels, trigger fish, marbled stingray, manta ray and whaleshark! -, showering off in the warmth of the sun after dives, indulging in delicious food and sinful snack of toasted egg and ham sandwich, jumping off the boat into the sea and jump shots out of clear waters, reaching the top of Sail Rock, watching stars and sunsets, relaxing in the pool of an amazing resort, suntanning by the beach with a book… the list can really go on and on.. Oh! Having someone assumed that I am a model?!?! Haha… =)

 

 

 

 

There had been a point when I thought I would never be able to enjoy holidays again… without a special someone to hold my hand while transiting, to surprise me with flowers in the room, to share and enjoy the unique sights and sounds with, to kiss and cuddle up to at night… The sense of loss still comes sometimes but I certainly realised that I had not been as free as I had in the last week for some years now…

I am okay.

Oh. Happy international day of happiness.. =)

meant to be

this song... the refrain "it wasn't meant to be" has been on my mind for the past few days... on and off it just keeps popping up in my head.... so finally went to search for it....

for some time, it was something i constantly asked myself... maybe we.. for us, it just wasn't meant to be... but still i tried... and tried and tried...

until one day i came upon the phrase "it was meant not to be"..................... such a subtle variation in writing but what vast difference it represents.... and slowly, perhaps it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, i came to feel that perhaps, we are meant not to be... it really felt as though god didn't want us to be together....

will never find out which it was i guess... i don't really need to explain to anyone else, but to myself... either one.. will get me through on days like these....  

To own a book..

Just visited The Little Prince Cafe right here in Singapore...

There are so many different versions of the book within the small shop itself and was reminded that i still do not own a copy of one of my favourite books..

But already i do not like buying books, especially if i already read them... and although i do want to own a copy of it, i realise i am somehow waiting to chance upon a perfect/right copy... (like choosing The One huh)

Well... i have decided... and this post is a reminder to self. I will only buy The Little Prince book if it:

• comes in both Chinese and English within the same book or set
• has coloured pictures
• contains beautiful drawings (which will probably mean not those drawn by St Exupery himself)
• printed in appealing font
• published in gorgeous finishing (preferably in a case?!)

i am so setting myself up for failure.....

hurting

十全十美 不奢求
二人世界 缘份浅
月异日新 无奈何
好景不长 应释怀
难以预料 除了疼 痛 伤 泣 也只有
熬。