Dalai Lama says
Not
only is it the case that happy people are more willing to help others,
but as I generally point out, helping others is the best way to help
yourself, the best way to promote your own happiness.
It is you,
yourself, who will receive the benefit.
And that is really how I feel about volunteering. Many friends have commented that I am really kind and always helping others, doing a variety of different things to help people, animals and causes without asking anything in return. It appears a very big-hearted thing to do.
The truth is... , at least to some extent, it is a selfish act. I needed it. Many years back when I was a different depressive me, volunteerism saved me. Without it, I don't think I would have survived till now. I do not remember when but I had specifically thought to myself that I should not/would not/did not want to live past 40. It was very dark times.
I genuinely enjoy myself every time I am helping others. But more significantly, volunteerism opened my eyes to look past my own problems and really be objective to see how small they actually are in reality. Oftentimes, it had been a means of escape because when you are busy helping others, you conveniently forget about your own problems. A better solution than drowning your sorrows which I had succumbed to too..
Well, the more I do it the more I realise I CAN do. So even when it was no longer a "necessity" for me, I continue to serve in whatever capacity I can. Besides, I learn soooo much during these activities. From interpersonal skills to technical skills, like I mentioned in this post, I gained way more than what I gave. And that post on the Science of Kindness was also when I learnt that these seemingly selfless acts of mine are actually rather selfish. It was (perhaps still is) my way of loving myself.
Anyway, selfless or selfish, nothing is going to stop me from doing good now. Thankfully with the support of a very capable husband, I am even more able to help whenever wherever now. Thus I literally jumped at this chance to help give out love notes on Valentine's Day! It really had been dreadful to read about the stories of healthcare workers being discriminated. The situation is bad enough and we are being unkind to the very helpers keeping the situation under control?!?
As we were advised not to go directly to KTPH, we stationed ourselves at the nearby Yishun Interchange with our carts full of love notes and sweet treats. Very few nurses or healthcare workers in uniform came our way actually, so we had to make clever guesses often based on the lanyards people were wearing so we could get the items to the recipients! But the positive and heartfelt responses we received..... awww.... I can do this all day.... 🥰
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| Doing good with my oldie bestie and pals! |
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| Thank you to all the Singaporeans (including PM Lee!) who took the time to pen a love note |
What a way to come full circle.. to still be able to give on the day of love, on the day I thought I would not survive to see. Yup, I just turned 40 years old this past Valentine's Day! My fellow helper was bewildered when she knew... well, the science behind kindness mentioned something about aging too.. 😉