The Proposal

So this happened today.

Honestly, if someone asked me if I will ever get married 5 years ago, the answer would have been a resounding "no". I was such a happy swinging single then, comfortable with my own company and ready for adventure wherever and whenever. Sure, I wanted companionship and even yearned for a special someone to spend my life with.. but marriage to me was non-essential. I was even a little anti-marriage - why do I need a piece of certificate to cement my relationship with the right one?

Thus, the fact that Axel was not keen on marriage was in fact one of the reasons I was attracted to him. Finally, I don't have to date someone who already had the objective of getting married in mind. I don't want to be a duty-fulfilling, child-bearing solution for someone. You want to date me then put that focus on me and us. That probably was the main reason why my dates with men were mostly doomed from the beginning.

Besides our opinion on marriage, Axel and I shared quite some common views and interests. We were pretty happy and contented the way we were but I guess life happens. Unfortunately, life consists of more than just us in our happy bubble, it encompasses interaction with family, friends, society and law and all that stuff which I prefer to distance myself from. But bit by bit, my resistance to the idea of marriage got chipped away that one morning while on holiday last year, as if inspired by a dream, I woke up and decided that 090918 was a beautiful date to get married on.

So apparently, although I was most definitely NOT the one to bring up marriage between the two of us, I was the one who had proposed marriage to my fiance. [He very smugly reminded me today.] Some of my well-meaning friends had previously suggested hello kitty themed proposals to him and personally I would have preferred a flash mob proposal with the man joining in in the dancing before popping the question but... after months of reacting adversely whenever he brought the m-word up, I just decided that if we are to do it, it should at least be done on a unique date.

I can never forget how a friend-and-ex-suitor once related to me that he was getting married. It was a shotgun and there was no proposal and they "decided on this course of action". I remember that moment quite precisely that I shuddered at the thought of a seemingly loveless union. It certainly reinforced my belief that marriage was not for me. How very ironic that my own marriage now is also somewhat the outcome of rational consideration for the pros of marriage.

But wouldn't you agree? that 090918 is a beautiful date?? 9 has always been my favourite number.. in Mandarin it also sounds like "久" which means lasting and who wouldn't want that for their relationship?! I was just that little bit sorry when I didn't had anyone to form a union with on 090909 but hey! 09 + 09 = 18... how perfect right! but alas that date can't be mine. Oh well, our final choice of date is even more special =)

Although marriage is certainly on the cards now, we both still preferred a simple affair without the usual and traditional and often extravagant rituals so I was genuinely surprised when Axel told me he wanted me to have an engagement ring. Venus Tears was actually my suggestion and although I don't really care for diamonds but this bling-bling - I can stare at it all day - especially after finding out how much thought he put into it. Who cares that he didn't get down on one knee....

I AM ENGAGED!