Something I Cried Over

Deaths almost always leave a lump in my throat. 

In July this year, I received news of 2 deaths in a span of a week. Both were unexpected and though neither was family, I was quite cut up to hear the news.

One was the guru I encountered during my yoga retreat to India in 2018. We were still corresponding via snail mail last year and I was wondering about the delay in his response to my last card.. Although we only spent a couple of hours a day together during that short trip, he had really left an impression on me and I was looking forward to learning more from him...

The other was an ex-colleague who I had worked quite closely with. Firstly, she was the mother hen for all new teachers and really took good care of us newbies to the school. Then we worked as co-teachers for a class and I witnessed how caring and selfless she was as a teacher. Before I left school, she became a fellow teacher-in-charge for the CCA I was in charge of and I learnt a different (and sporty) side of her from all the afternoons we spent together. I even had the honor of her presence during my wedding dinner.

Tears threatening again as I type. As a logical person, I understand the fact that all life ends in death and it is inevitable but there is no way my brain could convince the heart to stop aching. Especially for Mrs Ho whose life seemed so unfairly taken away. My last text to her was for her birthday and really wishing for her the retirement that she was looking forward to.. 

Both Mrs Ho and Mohanji were some of the nicest and kindest persons I know and for days after hearing the news, it felt impossible to reconcile my expectation with the reality. On many occasions, I found that I had drifted off in a daze, recalling the interactions I had with them and realizing I would never be able to do the same anymore.

Thankfully, even with the Covid situation, I was able to pay my respect to Mrs Ho in person and that ritual with the opportunity to speak to her family gave me some closure. Crying was a release. Grieve.

Death is unavoidable and that certainty is a good constant reminder to cherish the now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, say what needs to be said and do what your heart wants done. Give thanks and love.

Plastic Free July

So for the whole of last month, I decided to put a focus on plastic. The #plasticfreejuly movement has actually started way back in 2011 but I only heard about it on 1st July this year through one of the many environmental advocacy groups I follow. Although it felt late in the game but the idea of being part of the solution really resonated with me so I joined the challenge!

Since embarking on this journey to reduce waste, especially plastic, I have seen enough responses and reactions to know that my efforts will not always be appreciated. So it is certainly a challenge - not so much the actions of reducing plastic but to be prepared to be rejected or even ridiculed. But since the decision was made, I committed to it by changing my profile picture and cover page on Facebook and basically made an online declaration about it.

I do like this year's logo which included a turtle. That video of a turtle suffering with a straw in its nose was probably what started me off on this journey in the first place. What better image to use as a profile picture right? And for the cover page, I applied my creative juices on Canva once again to design my very own with a slogan to boot!

Initially I really thought I would be posting and hashtagging every single day but as I wanted to be authentic and only to relate something I personally do, finding something to post everyday was not easy at all. But I tried my best and really made an effort to at least set some time each day to consider what I could share and managed to post something on Facebook 13 days out of 31 days.

Perhaps because I was conscious of the possible backlash, the text accompanying my posts are "mild"? Well, I am always super conscious about what I post online anyway... I hoped I came across as encouraging rather than imposing and more often than not, I included my failures and shortcomings in my attempts to show how this journey will not be easy but not impossible. Because (see image)

Where I held back in my written stories to the images and posts, I was consistent in the hashtags that accompanied them. #plasticfreejuly is a given. #byobsg and #saynotosingleuseplastic are almost always relevant. #consciouschoices is one I came up with as I realised it was exactly what most people are not making which contributed to the problem. And finally #motherearthisworththeinconvenience is one I thought up last year when I posted about my experience reducing waste for a camp in school because our mother earth really is worth it. 

I am really glad I did it though I was not sure how much of an impact I made. For most posts, I received a range of 5 to 14 likes, usually from the same people. The most likes I received was for a post on OCK [19 likes] - was it because many people liked OCK or the way to avoid plastic using a silicon bag was the easiest to implement? And I received almost no comments at all save for the last one on supposedly zerowaste items I bought for home. I received one comment. So I was not able to start conversations either.

I suppose all these are within my (lowered) expectations. And like a teacher who will never know the extent of the influence he or she has on students, perhaps, hopefully I have planted some seeds of change in some minds in this short time of a month.