Too Environmentally Conscious?

I prefer dining in to taking away. Period. I honestly feel a heartache if I have to use one-time disposables. So whenever possible, I will choose to have a sit-down meal even if it means I have to look out of place eating on my own. I have become so thick-skinned in that sense.

Along my journey, I am really thankful to discover alternatives such as beewax wraps, Keepleaf and Roll'Eat that allow me to not incur disposables when I am in a hurry. When I was moving into my own apartment, one of the first things I "stole" from my parents was a tingkat container. Haha!

So you can imagine I almost never order deliveries. Generally too cheapskate to pay for the delivery fees but also just unable to deal with the amount of plastic that inevitably comes with each one. However, during this circuitbreaker period when so many of our hawkers are adversely affected, I do want to help in my small ways. I ordered something which I had been craving but unable to find anywhere within walking distance. And I intentionally chose a hawker who is engaging private drivers (as they will receive 100% of the delivery fee) to deliver their food so as to kill multiple birds with one stone. #HawkersUnited #savefnbsg Support local hawkers! Satay forever!

But without a dine-in option, meals have been mostly settled at home. Definitely getting more comfortable in the kitchen! In the rare times when I do dabao, I would certainly have to plan in advance. What to eat? Is it dry or soupy? What containers to bring? Are they big enough? And I think through my approach.. my first question to the seller is always if they will accept my container. Unfortunately despite the government's call to BYO, it is still the hawker's prerogative to accept them. And I am prepared to walk away if they say no. I also tend to approach stalls that are less busy and thus will be less stressed about a disruption to their routine. Yes, I recognise that it might break their flow.

From when I first began years ago, being embarrassed and paiseh about my request, to now after trying-and-testing at various places on numerous occasions, I thought I found my balance point between convenience and environmentalism. 

I was not prepared for today.

Out on my grocery run/cycle, I had my tingkat ready and brought along my all-encompassing food bag just in case the tingkat is too small for the char siew rice I had in mind. While waiting for my rice, I spied some chwee kuey nearby and since I had an extra container, I seized the opportunity to buy myself an extra treat.

"Auntie, 水粿5个. 可以放里面吗?" 
(5 please. Can you put them in?) Pointing to my bag.

She eyed my bag and gave a nod so I waited happily.... until I observed her scooping the chwee kuey while my bag was far from her.

"Auntie, 可以直接放里面.这个可以放食物的." 
(You can put them in directly. This bag is specifically for food.) 
I tried to reassure her as I had done many times with other hawkers.

She still looked unconvinced but with some gentle persistence, she finally transferred them into my bag. I mentally heaved a sigh of relief and hoped she becomes more accepting in future with this first occurrence.

As she watched me closed up my bag.... "你太环保了" 
(You are too environmentally conscious)

My heart and face fell. Or sank. So hard I thought I heard a thud somewhere. I was momentarily stunned and I did not know how to respond. I wondered if my eyes above my mask reflected what I felt inside. And I am still feeling it right now as I type. 🙁

I suppose this is the whole crux of the problem?

I get it that we are already used to a lifestyle where things are efficient and convenient. 
I get it that not everyone has had the same experiences as me to want to go to this extent to avoid plastic. 
I get it that my individual efforts right now may not so much make a dent of a difference to the issue our collective presence imposes on this planet. 

But, TOO environmentally conscious? How can anyone be too much of the right thing to do? How about just becoming more conscious of choices and decisions made?

dive-eat-sleep-repeat

Just returned from a vacation. As I was out at sea for 4 days and nights, am still feeling landsick (ie: as though still floating in water when standing on firm ground). But. What a glorious holiday filled with so many firsts:

·        1^st time holidaying with May and Bee

·        1^st time to pack so little for a 6 days trip

·        1^st time in Similan Islands, Khao Lak

·        1^st time  to experience liveonboard

·        1^st time losing my snorkelling mask

·        1^st time losing my dive group while underwater

·        1^st time writing in a dive logbook

Yes. Finally started a dive log, albeit most reluctantly. It was good fun to sit down and do or copy “homework” after each dive. I learnt that it’s up to me! So I don’t have to stress over identifying the multitude of species of sea creatures but just pen down my feelings and experiences instead. I can do that! And certainly not restricted to dives… time to dust off the many (empty) travel journals I acquired…

Although I should be excused as it was my first liveonboard experience, I did feel that I didn’t pack right.. well.. at least I didn’t overpack?!?! Still, there were many items I wished I had with me during the trip. I wished I brought along rashguard and long tights – not at all proud of the ugly tan lines across my thighs and upper arms.. =/ also realised it’s time I invest in more than just a mask for diving, booties or even socks will prevent blisters from fins! Thankfully my 2 hair ties lasted the trip but can never have too many hair ties when you do not want hair to obscure the beautiful scenes the ocean has to offer.. can’t believe I left all 6 or 7 sarongs at home! Certainly a better between-dives-attire than just a tee.. Even though I set out not wanting to be bothered with photo taking, I really should have brought along at least one memory device! Finally, bring a multi-colors pen!!!

 

It was a very, immensely, awesomely enjoyable trip! I keep recalling my huge, sunny smiles and the emotions of joy and carefreeness throughout the trip. Even before arriving in Thailand, I was filled with excitement in anticipation.

At various points: having Dylan and Erica to send me off at the airport, performing the “manta call”, discovering the tiny beings – shrimps, nudibranchs, ghost pipefish, mothfish – to catching sight of the big guys – moray eels, trigger fish, marbled stingray, manta ray and whaleshark! -, showering off in the warmth of the sun after dives, indulging in delicious food and sinful snack of toasted egg and ham sandwich, jumping off the boat into the sea and jump shots out of clear waters, reaching the top of Sail Rock, watching stars and sunsets, relaxing in the pool of an amazing resort, suntanning by the beach with a book… the list can really go on and on.. Oh! Having someone assumed that I am a model?!?! Haha… =)

 

 

 

 

There had been a point when I thought I would never be able to enjoy holidays again… without a special someone to hold my hand while transiting, to surprise me with flowers in the room, to share and enjoy the unique sights and sounds with, to kiss and cuddle up to at night… The sense of loss still comes sometimes but I certainly realised that I had not been as free as I had in the last week for some years now…

I am okay.

Oh. Happy international day of happiness.. =)

my kind of place

i knew i wanted to write this particular post about 2 weeks back, at a pretty precise moment and i thought i would title it "my favourite moment".. this particular title, "my kind of place" is borrowed from a book i am currently reading: the wisdom of sam by daniel gottlieb.

i picked up his first book entirely by chance and instantly felt a connection to this author. much of what he wrote resonated within me and it just so happens that his grandson is autistic and he wrote 2 other books for him, about him, this particular angel who fell from heaven. i bought both books.

when sam mused about his kind of place, he wasnt in disneyland, he wasnt in a candy shop or the best playground in the world, he was lying in a huge pile of leaves that his dad had just raked on an autumn day. he was just appreciating the place he occupied at that moment to be his kind of place, right where he belongs.

2 weeks ago, i was in nepal, a country to visit on my bucket list, trekking at about 2500 m above sea level in the annapurna region. part of a group of about 20, i had somehow lagged behind the faster group and was far ahead of the slower group and became quite alone along the trail.

as the weather was cold, i really relished the sunlight and decided to stop and rest in a spot of pure warmth. and when i did, i started to notice not just the warmth, but also the soft breeze. the birds chirped, the leaves rustled and i realised once again how gorgeous the snow-capped mountains were on the horizon, it was magical. it really was my favourite moment of an incredible trip to a beautiful country.

it was then i also realised although i had come to this country to escape hustle and bustle, only moments before i had been so preoccupied with my bag, my poles, my route, my group mates that i had forgotten to be present in the moment...

i have been practicing to be present and aware for some years now and even then i still forget sometimes. i think that is what mr gottlieb means by finding or i should say being in your kind of place, all the time. it's a whole lot easier when you are in an enchanting place such as nepal and i am still learning to be okay and make it my kind of place when things are not going well and i am feeling hurt, pain or anger...

2012 is coming to an end and personally it had been great! in fact, this is the best december in many years.. so much to be thankful for.. =)

in 2013, i want to keep on practicing to be present, to volunteer more, to still give my best in my current school, to step bravely into the unknown after that and to always be kind in words and in deeds.