Paw Prints on my Heart

 

I don't even remember when my love affair with cats began.

Hello Kitty is certainly a source. But how did swooning over the cat with no mouth transition into an indescribable love for the real deal of sleek, coolness, and independence - I am unsure.

I remember making a declaration "I love all cats! - except Garfield" I could never resist spending time with cats. You have a cat? Can I come visit? If I come across a stray, I would pause even if it is just to say "hello there!" Eventually, it led to volunteering for Cat Welfare Society, buying of cat calendars, regular feeding of community cats, seeking out cat cafes and even the cat village of Houtong. Everyone knew me to be the cat person who, ironically, didn't have a cat. Until I moved to Uruguay.

Oscar was first. He was so shy initially, always keeping his distance, but I had no doubt we were meant to be. I loved watching him as he kneads his front paws, while eating from his bowl or before settling into his favorite spot for a nap. When he first jumped on my lap, the gentle press of his paws seemed to say "I am learning to trust you." 

When we lost Oscar, it felt like someone had punched a hole through my heart. The untouched food bowl, the empty corners where he used to nap - everything felt wrong. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, not when we had barely begun our journey together.

Then Chinook came into my life. Her constant purring was like a healing balm to make all things right again. She purred so much, so loudly - we named her after the just as deafening helicopter. We didn't know then that her sweet purring might have been trying to tell us something. That perhaps her body was already fighting battles we couldn't see.

Losing two cats within six months... I never imagined such heartbreak when I dreamed of being a cat mom. How could something I wanted for so long bring such profound pain? I thought maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I wasn't meant to have cats after all. At all.

Funnily enough, it was on the hubby's insistence that brought them back into our lives. He wanted a mouse catcher. So I responded to a giver's posting of kittens for adoption, mistakenly assuming there was only one due to the language barrier. Actually there was a litter of 7 to choose from! 

I had often wondered what kind of cat I would choose to be my own and just as I was considering how I would select 2 out of the litter of 7, I was relieved of that choice. I had arrived at the giver's home and we spoke at her gate. As the kittens were all running amok she had to go search for them and the first two she brought out became mine. So none of my cats were actually chosen by me - they chose me, or perhaps fate chose them for me.

This year taught me that love and loss are two sides of the same coin. Oscar showed me how beautiful it is when trust builds slowly. Chinook taught me to cherish every purr, every moment. And now these kittens are teaching me that it's okay to open my heart again.

I miss Oscar's gentle paw kneading. I miss Chinook's powerful purrs. But their brief presence in my life made me a better cat mom, and for that, I'll always be grateful. As I watch Arturo and Estrella play, I like to believe that somewhere, Oscar and Chinook are watching too, purring their approval of these little ones who are helping to heal my heart.

Confessions of a Mahjong Addict

The other night, I played mahjong. By myself. 

Yes, myself playing all 4 winds or "sides" of the table.
I did not even use a square table.
I did not even have a full set of tiles.
I did not even play with normal size tiles. 

I was that desperate to play. Actually no. I invited the hubby to join me (even though he barely knows the game) but he was too exhausted from work that day. But I wanted to play something. I had brought both my miniature mahjong tiles and my bead pyramid IQ puzzle to our trapezium-shaped study desk and thought I self-entertain a little before sleep. 

I didn't think I would enjoy a solo mahjong session, with tiny feather-light tiles, but as it has been months (4 to be exact!) since I last played mahjong, I chose that over the IQ puzzle.

The miniature set was bought off Carousell because I like mahjong and I like tiny things. It was also inexpensive being secondhand. At that point in time, my personal Hello Kitty set was with a friend and I just wanted a set to begin introducing the hubby to my favourite game so I purchased it even though it was missing the animals. 

With the missing animals and solo playing, I figured I would go easy on the rules and just go back to the basics of getting 4 sets and a pair of eyes for a win. So easy-peasy. Thought I would bore quickly...

how I missed these 4 walls

I played for more than 2 hours.
Even though I had to think for 4 "players".
Even though I had to set up all 4 walls after each round.
Even though I got confused at least 4 times "whose" turn it was.

Thing is, despite the simplistic rules, the mental effort required, and the lack of satisfaction from discarding a normal size mahjong tile of substantial weight with style, I still enjoy the game. 😍

unique solo mahjong setup

It is so gratifying to draw that one tile you had been banking on; the pleasure of seeing the sets you envisioned falling into place; that ultimate vindication of winning on that last available tile you needed. Amazingly, even the heartache of drawing another hong zhong 🀄 after finally letting one go on the previous turn does not lessen with the reduced size of the tiles!

this was a big win!

As I had to oversee 4 arrays of tiles, the longish table actually worked pretty well. The tiles for the dealer always comes first. So east, south, west, then north down the length of the table. It was also helpful that I was on a rolling desk chair!

long table is good for solo mahjong! And another big win!

Although I was not playing with money or chips, the "pro" in me still gravitated towards qing yi se, ban se, ping hu and peng peng hu. I was not even counting the tai, but after a few rounds I got curious about which side of the "table" is becoming the "big winner" and began to track "who" is winning.

so amused by how I named the 4 directions of the "table"

Initially I only used the first letter of the different directions but decided to give them names eventually. It appears Libby's fengshui was not so good. Odd that that was the side where my notebook with red cover stood. Hmm...

Anyway, yes, I confess I am a mahjong addict.

The following day, we had a power outage on the estate which lasted for quite some time. Guess what I thought of. I suggested playing mahjong to the hubby and he agreed! He really did not have many alternative things to do. 😂

We got a rectangular table and sat in the living room with lots of natural light. He was "Timmy" (well, he can't be a Tammy right?) and "Ronny" while I became "Libby" and "Betty". I could have played for 3 but it was not hubby's first time so with his intelligence, I was sure he could handle it.

Because I really wanted him to play with me for a long time, I put on my teacher's hat and really tried to make the learning process easier and smoother for him. Kept the rules simple and allowed no tai wins (personalised learning). When he couldn't remember the chinese characters for numbering, I provided a pictorial reference (scaffolding). After every round, I explicitly explained my tiles on hand and my strategy (modeling) and also discussed his tiles and strategy (feedback). Most importantly, I was very patient. At his playing speed, most of my mahjong kakis would want a new kaki!

the scaffold provided to hubby. actually much better versions available online

Maybe it had to do with the name Libby by the end of 1 round (each player being dealer at least once), Libby did not win a single time while Ronny was the ultimate winner. Yes, my hubby won more times than me.

this got to be the ultimate no tai win

I must find our square table so I can finally use my Hello Kitty mahjong tiles but first, I need 2 more players! Let's start a mahjong club in Uruguay??!! Playing mahjong comes with a slew of benefits!!!! Or do you prefer a scientific research conclusion?