Shopping! Gifting? Choosing.

I love a good deal. Thus when I received the advert about additional discount and extra rebate by a particular departmental store, I knew I had to go as I had been eyeing this brand of shoes which they carry. Despite knowing that it was the Black Friday weekend, I was still taken aback by the queues. Queue to enter, queue to pay, queue for free wrapping, it was swarming with people. I was surprised and a little sad.

That brand of shoes (anothersole) had a special offer of 40% on second pair on top of the advertised markdown. I was tempted enough to start texting my family if anyone was keen but unfortunately (or fortunately?) they were not and the particular pair that I wanted had ran out of my size. 😦 I tried on other models which my big feet could fit but ultimately I chose not to get any.

However that was not why I felt sad. It had been a while since I went to the malls to shop. Standing among the crowds with incredible deals shouting for attention across four floors of the shopping centre, I could not help but wonder if it was consumerism at its worst. With Christmas just around the corner, it was almost certain that most of the purchases being rung up at the cashiers would end up as gifts. Gifts that sadly, more often than not end up unused and forgotten, therefore wasted.

 

Facebook memories recently reminded me that I shared the above infographic some years back. I think most of my family and friends know that I prefer not to receive gifts. I made it very plain what kind of memories I wish for (any chance to be up close and personal with Aaron or Kitty!) 🤣 I wish more people know of these alternatives. And my niece and nephew understand why they rarely get presents from this auntie.

Annual sales such as these also beg the question if one is really getting a good deal. The following meme got me laughing out loud and you got to admit that there is at least a nugget of truth in it! Unless you have been keeping track of the price of the item, how do you know that the discount stated was really a discount? It is so very easy to pick up other items in a big store since you are already there and you are already going to stand in the queue. Suddenly, something that was not on your shopping list becomes something the child of so-and-so might like for Christmas.

And I totally wish that this particular fantasy can become a reality. Even if it is not as serious as a mental illness, it is a fact that most people do not make conscious choices when it comes to buying things. It is on sale, buy. I can afford it, buy. Everyone has it, buy. That is so pretty, buy. What a fashion statement, buy. People will be so impressed, buy... 

If you do not care about how overconsumption is causing a strain on our only home's resources, at least consider how much you can save if you do not buy. 🤷 Start considering every want-to-buy-item in terms of "how long do I have to work for it" instead of how much money it cost. I realised I have unconsciously switched to this mode of thinking since becoming a paid-by-hour freelance teacher! 

So, choose to be a conscious consumer ok? 😼

Our history is a lot more than meets the eye..

And this particular eye had thoroughly enjoyed the visual treat whilst on The Bicentennial Experience! I have never really like History as a subject finding it dull and mostly sad thus I quite promptly dropped it in Secondary Three. But being a patriotic Singaporean, missing this would be out of the question and boy am I glad I made time for it. Surprised myself with the number of pictures I had taken; it shows just how successful the organising team is in making history come to life. It was not sufficient to enjoy the various presentations in the flesh. 

Here are some of my feeble attempts to make memories and capture how impressed I had been with what I saw.. 

The Time Traveller

Right from the start at the Atrium, with some clever light trickery, visitors witnessed how rain (real water!) freeze in mid air and then rise instead of fall! The commentary stated that this "provides insights into how weather played a significant role in the rise and fall of civilisations and cities" but I much preferred the symbolism of time being turned back more than 200 years. 

Took a video but of course the optical illusion no longer works after being processed by a camera.......

  Act 1 1299 - 1613 Beginnings

As I attend this exhibition with zero expectations, it took me quite some time before I was finally convinced that the actors before my eyes were performing live. Given how close they were to the spectators, it was quite an intimate set and they were so professional even after the nth performance?! The use of the moving travelator is incredibly clever and seamless in implementation together with the multimedia projections. I noted with astonishment that the martial art choreography was the product of Lim Yu-Beng!

trying to capture how the multimedia projection is all immersive being both in front and behind the stage - and failing miserably - unless you can see shadows of flames on the transparent screen?!

 Act 2 1819 Arrival

 
I love how visitors get to sit in a pseudo ship and enjoy a panoramic view just like one would when out at sea! However, the concept of seeing the narrative through the eyes of animals was totally lost on me up till the point of the dragonfly.. it just was not that evident.. 

My History classes had taught me that Farquhar was Raffles's right hand man but apparently not....

Act 3 1867 - 1941 Connectivity

"Moving screens and rotating seats, which simulate the turning of the wheels of machinery" brought us from Act 2 to Act 3 without us even getting off our butts. And physically feeling the motor of the revolving platform really emphasised the "mechanical strength that powered the rise of industralisation". Then there was also the colourisation of actual photographs of families from that era which contrasted with the darkness and grime of inevitable social ills. The first hint of the sad component of history but totally cool presentation.

 

Act 4 1942 - 1945 Occupation

Hands down my least favourite part and no fault of the exhibition itself, just the content. The setting of dimly lit spaces and cracked walls in narrow tunnels effectively forced visitors to feel the oppressive atmosphere. The re-enactment of an actual survivor of Sook Ching also felt too real for comfort.

 

Act 5 1950s - 2019 Destiny

The most talked-about act of the entire experience! It was supposed to provide "an uplifting finale" but for a long while I could not get past the fact that I really personally bear witness standing at the Padang, drenched to the bones by the downpour that fell on the day of LKY's funeral procession. But yes, there were downs and there were ups. We have achieved so much which made me so proud to call myself a Singaporean and I am ready to weather any storm as a nation.

  

 

This part of the experience ended with a closing question asking every visitor to vote "Which DNA trait is most important to Singapore? Although I can certainly see how "Multiculturalism" and "Openness" play a part to our success, I chose "Self-Determination" because ....cue music! there was a time when people said that Singapore won't make it, but we did

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pathfinder

This part of the experience reminded me a lot of Singapore Biennale as you can explore various outdoor pavilions on Fort Canning Hill artistically designed to reveal Singapore's place in the world through different themes. Love it!

The map - of course I tried to follow it in sequence

Emporium of the East - white clay replicas of trading goods in early Singapore and some VR surprises!

House of Maps - beautiful redesign and representation of blown up maps depicting Singapore in various names

Lookout - the exterior

Lookout - interior 1

Lookout - interior 2

Seed Conservatory

Seed Conservatory - my favourite spice!

Seed Conservatory - this is one of the better surviving ones

Lightbeam - Need to visit this at night!

Pavilion of Words - Quite a collection of books on Singapore; browsed through one of TNP

Pavilion of Words - my "tweet"

Reflections of our Past - deep in thought

Observatory

Observatory - VR fun!

 So what are you waiting for? Go see it already before the tickets run out again!! You "paid" for this massive nationalistic project, you know?

how about a journey down down down under?

A friend who has been helping me keep a lookout for sustainability related jobs forwarded the Antarctic Sabbatical link to me. A special program organised by Airbnb and Ocean Conservancy. I have to say it both excites and scares me a little. I mean what an opportunity this will be! It will certainly be a great stepping stone into the industry I have so much interest in. But I am one of those who would rather die of heat than cold and the idea of working in such extreme conditions is daunting. 

Well, you will never know till you try right? So I gamely took up my friend's challenge/recommendation and applied for it! I definitely meet all of the basic requirements and I also needed to pen a less than 500 words essay about why I want to be part of this program to investigate the presence of microplastics on the most isolated continent on Earth. 

I spent quite some time crafting it so have decided to post it here although I have also just received confirmation that I had not been selected for the program. I am kinda glad for that. 🤣

~~~~~~~~

For an ordinary someone from a tiny country located close to the equator, the South Pole in Antarctica feels as unattainable as space travel. I am certainly not immune to the beauty of Antarctica – magnificent glaciers, mysterious icebergs and that vastness of ice and snow. But being familiar with its reputation as being extremely remote and harsh, I have never considered the possibility of setting foot on the continent, until now.

I have a wanderlust which sees me travelling out of my little red dot at least twice a year. Surprising to most of my peers, I have a preference for roughing it out while trekking in Nepal and Bhutan – two destinations on my bucket list – compared to luxurious vacations in Europe. If I am selected for this expedition, Antarctica will become the third place I never knew was on my bucket list until I was made aware of this sabbatical. I love the outdoors and being surrounded by nature. Having spent most of my life in sunny, warm and developed Singapore where the closest I can get to nature is a rustic island named Pulau Ubin, Antarctica will be a drastic but an exciting change of environment for me to reconnect with nature. Perhaps that is exactly what I need, a 360 degrees switch to experience nature in a different and deeper way.

Besides riding snowmobiles and seeing penguins in their natural habitats, what excites me the most about the expedition is the opportunity to apply my training in Science Communication and contribute to scientific research that will make a positive difference for our planet. I am that friend whom others refrain from using plastic when I am present. I am often the odd one out rejecting plastics and bringing out my personal reusable items at a social gathering. Some times my friends ask me for opinions and insights relating to environmental issues. In fact I would not have found out about this expedition if not for a friend who knows just how concerned I am about the plastic problem plaguing our planet right now. Being an avid diver, I have seen first hand the negative impact humans have on our oceans. But one can only do so many clean-up dives and I know I can contribute much much more. This expedition feels right up my alley.

There had been times when I felt one individual’s effort cannot make a difference to the humongous crisis of plastic we face right now, but I now truly believe every small action by any individual in the right direction steer us closer towards the path to sustainability. I have always try to lead by example; I hope this will be the most impactful example I can show the world. Finally, this might be my only chance to see a whale up close and personal!

Saying Goodbye to Grandma..

My ah ma was a tough woman. She lived through WWII, borne 9 children and pretty much brought up myself and 4 other cousins single-handedly when we were younger. I remember days when we kids got so rowdy in her 4-room flat that she had to shout at us while preparing meals or washing and hanging up laundry.

I remember her cooking - pork chops coated with biscuit crumbs, thick meat porridge with my favourite ketchup and made from scratch ngoh hiang which we only got to enjoy during CNY. Her homecooked meals were her communication of love for us.
 
I remember the white powder that she liked to put on just as other women of her era did - my first introduction to make-up. Though she rarely looked made up, I thought she was beautiful, especially when she smiled. 

Around the time when I started JC, days spent at grandma's house got fewer and fewer but when I do visit, I would definitely get my favourite dish of tomato egg. We would sit together to watch TV programmes; she would ask me for the time and that was one thing I became pretty good at in hokkien; or she would ask me to do little chores like turning on the light or turning off the fan.

We could hardly hold a conversation together but I loved being cheeky with her, teasing her about this or that. When I got older, one thing I often "told" her was to stop smoking. I would gestured taking the cigarette out of mouth and putting it out and she would often just smile and wave me off.

Once, I got really upset with her because she didn't want a wheelchair that enabled her to wheel herself around. She wanted one that only had the option of being pushed around although she still had strength in her arms. It seemed to me that she had given up then.

It was last February during one of my visits that it finally dawned on me that the time might be near. She was frail, no longer walking and hardly speaking. I remember holding her hand and feeling her soft yet easily bruised skin. She was still her cheeky self, smiling and teasing me about my then-boyfriend. I remember thinking to myself that I want more pictures with ah ma..

20th Jan 19: Birthday celebration! Ah ma was 93 years old. Technically it was celebrating both our birthdays as we share the same lunar birthday. She was happy with her cake and all the little ones running around her.

7th Feb 19: On the second day of CNY, she was hospitalised. I visited her and sat mostly silently by her bedside. Looking at all the tubes on her, sensing the discomfort she was experiencing, I took her hand and silently thought to myself. "I would love for you to be at my wedding, I want so much for you to be at my wedding, I want to serve the granddaughter and grandson-in-law tea to you. But you don't have to stay for that, you don't have to stay at all. You can go, ah ma..."

10th Feb 19: I was greeted with countless messages and missed calls on my phone after finishing a yoga class. Frantically hailed a cab and rushed down to the hospital with a pounding heart. She took a while but she opened her eyes when she heard that I had arrived. Then she gave an even bigger welcome to my then-fiance, the yandao. She survived that day.

17th Feb 19: She appeared better, was able to recognize more of us, spoke more coherently and once again was asking for the time every now and then. I thought she looked really cute when she smacked her lips together. Then she showed us what she was capable of by blowing bubbles into a straw. Definitely A+++ for you ah ma!

25th Feb 19: She was well enough to be transferred from the hospital to a community hospital. Everything went smoothly and transportation plans for her from the new venue to the wedding venue were considered. Everyone was in high spirits.

2nd Mar 19: I was called to the hospital although I had planned to meet my jiemeis to discuss the wedding day schedule. I arrived within an hour to see her with an oxygen mask covering half her face. With the help of my aunt, she presented me with the golden bangles she had asked my aunt to purchase for me the day before. Pictures were taken. I thanked her with a kiss on her forehead. My family told me to proceed with my plans.

After meeting with my jiemeis, I got another call to return to the hospital, this time with Axel. When we arrived, she had been moved to a private room and almost all family members in town were present. After waiting for the tea cups to arrive, we served tea to ah ma and received her blessings. More pictures and video were taken. She looked really alert and agreed that the tea was sweet. Although all of us were prepared for the worst that night, her condition improved well enough to be transferred back to her previous common room.

7-8th Mar 19: It was my Guo Da Li day and as per tradition, Axel was required to prepare a special angbao just for ah ma. My dad delivered it to her the following day and she opened her eyes for this picture of her with the angbao that was rightfully hers.

10th Mar 19: One week to the wedding. Visited ah ma with Axel. Her limbs felt cold and she complained that her legs were aching. Tried to make her comfortable by moving her limbs for her. Held her hands and she would tightened her grip on mine. Told her to sleep and rest. Questioned the doctor about the tips of her fingers and he called us aside to tell us to be prepared.

11th Mar 19: While out running errands for the wedding with Axel, my mind constantly thought of  ah ma. Can one ever be fully prepared for such an event? I received the news via Whatsapp while we were in a crowded MRT train. Initially I was calm, but as I leaned into Axel and buried my face in his chest, the tears just overcame me. The realisation that she was gone was just too much.

Then I received a call from my brother to remind me to stay away and not participate in the funeral. Am I really not allowed to say my last goodbye? Another call from my mum then another from an aunt. Some indignation and fresh tears each time. Perhaps it really was for the best that I was absent.

That day, the skies opened and rain hammered down after a long dry spell.

13th Mar 19: As I was kept up to date via our family group chat without being able to be physically present, I tried to go about my normal days, doing things that I routinely do. I was okay. I talked to my friends and was comforted. I attended my usual yoga class. The necessity to turn inwards and focus on my gaze, body and breath made it unnecessary to constantly remind myself that life goes on. I felt great that I was able to execute all the poses.. until savasanah. Totally relaxed, the mind went right back to ah ma and I pretty much burst into tears.

15th Mar 19: It was the appointed day for Axel and I to collect our marriage certificate from ROM. It was also the day ah ma was to be cremated. With an insane need to do something, we headed for the beach in ECP. Both of us folded some origami boats, I gathered some fallen white flowers and set the little memorial boats adorned with flowers out to sea. Rituals do have meaning. For me, that simple act was significant and comforting. I know my ah ma loves me and that I am in her heart as much as she will always be in mine.

 
Ang Char (1926 - 2019) is survived by 9 children, 6 children-in-law, 17 grandchildren, 9 grandchildren-in-law and 7 great-grandchildren.