7. Dylan and Erica need to trust, at a very early age, that home is safe.

Dylan and Erica are past "a very early age" but they do already trust that home is safe. Today at school-going age, they both are pretty confident and outgoing kiddos. My brother and sister-in-law are certainly doing a great job in this area.

I am pretty impressed by my brother who takes extra time to give each of them separate swimming "tuition" on top of swimming classes they attend with a swim coach. More than just ensuring they learn how to swim, I believe those one-to-one sessions are when he bonds with them individually. Bet he does not know that even science suggests that his actions are going to make Dylan and Erica smarter and better behaved!

This is one aspect, from my years of experience as a teacher, I learn is one of the most important aspects that any parent must take care of. A child will simply have difficulties growing up well-adjusted without a supportive and nurturing environment at home. There are so many "problematic" youngsters acting out in school because they lack the care and attention at home.

For children to be the bright future we expect them to be, we first have to ensure that we adults are providing a safe haven at home for them. Unfortunately there are many unprepared or even unwilling parents out there. Thankfully, and hopefully, the percentage of that group of parents is small compared to the parents I personally know who care a great deal about how to bring up their children!

Just to add, I do not see a safe environment to only be possible in a typical family nucleus with a father and a mother. I know of many atypical families of single parent and even same sex parents who probably do a better job at creating trust at home for their children than many of the "normal" family type I came across at school. The point is, if you have choose to bring a child to life, do it properly?!

Dylan and Erica need to....

Finally picking up where I last left off in the Dylan-needs-to series, except given the 6 years lapse 🤯 it now becomes the Dylan-and-Erica-need-to series. And not so sure if this list for kids is still relevant to these 2 not-so-little little ones (both of them in primary school next year!) but today being the first day of the month and the first day of the second half of the year, I am feeling pretty inspired to keep it going continuously for at least a month?!? (keeping fingers crossed)

Looking at the next item on the list, I can imagine why I allowed such a long gap to transpire...... "dig a hole to China" Why in the world would kids need to do that? And unfortunately I really don't have the best opinion of China right now so that is hardly a desirable destination. If it is about being okay to get down and get dirty playing in dirt, that I can agree! The concept of Forest School is one I wouldn't mind being more involved in personally! Well, both of them are not adverse to getting muddy and playing in sand so I guess that is settled?

Next one is "need to take a nap with their dog".... but they don't have a dog... and given the discussion the family had while we were standing outside a pet shop just yesterday.. it seems highly likely that they might have one in the future... but they do have hamsters! Too tiny for them to take a nap with but probably learning the value of taking care of another living creature just the same.. They are certainly more confident in handling their Pokemon-named pets than me...

So, this reboot of the series shall begin with 6. Dylan and Erica need to search for the end of the rainbow. Both of them definitely recognize the colourful phenomenon and we often would spend at least a few minutes marveling the beauty of it when we do catch one. This endeavour of searching for its end would be an interesting extension. I mean, we all know you can never quite find the end but it does not mean that the pursuit of it is worthless or meaningless. I can already imagine the fun and possible conversation that might arise from such a hunt. And when they do find out that I brought them on an impossible search, I hope they would see the value of it in terms of the intangible enjoyment we gained from that little adventure.

Can't wait to find a rainbow with them!!

International Day of Yoga 2019

21st June - summer solstice - officially adopted by the UN as International Day of Yoga after being endorsed by 175 out of 193 member states. That is a noteworthy record where more than 90% of the countries of the world actually agreed on something. Yoga for better health of the entire world population.

Although this year is already the 5th year that it is being celebrated worldwide, I was only aware of it last year when I was on the search for a suitable yoga school to learn to become an instructor. Having decided to take up YICC at Vyasa Singapore, I was informed of the event for IDY 2018 held at CSC Tessensohn.

Then, I was a participant, quite a lonely one too. But this year, I was a volunteer and really glad to contribute as an instructor, a demonstrator, and an assistant alongside my YICC mates. Had assumed it would be a single day event but Vyasa, as one of the main organisers working with the High Commision of India, oversaw nearly 200 sessions across the island over about 2 weeks!

Preparation began a month earlier with weekly practice of the Common Yoga Protocol prepared by the Ministry of Ayuverda, Yoga, Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha and Homoeopathy (AYUSH) in India. Volunteers were also invited to a photoshoot at Esplanade before we were assigned to the various venues and sessions.

The photoshoot was set at 7am and it had been a long time since I woke up that early for anything. But upon arriving at the outdoor theatre by the waters, I was immediately refreshed and surprisingly stayed pretty alert for the entire session adopting various asanas for the photoshoot with over 50 other volunteers (an organisation nightmare).

My first assignment was totally out of my expectation. As a first-time volunteer, I assumed I would be taking on the role of an assistant, instead, I became the only instructor available for a session to nearly 20 participants at Boon Lay. Thankfully the teacher in me took over and the session went well. I had one participant inquiring the whereabouts of Vyasa after I mentioned it and another requesting for the sequence of asanas I taught... got to mean something right? 😃

The second one was comparatively relaxed as I was one of many assistants to a regular volunteer. In fact, the number of assistants was more than the number of participants in the beautiful Botanical Gardens. Outdoor yoga was lovely although I really did not enjoy the wet grass we were practising on. The calming and healing sounds of the singing bowls during savasanah were out of the world wonderful too.

Right after that, I went along to my third session at Sunlove Whampoa where I really could put my mandarin knowledge and limited dialect to good use as we guided a huge group of senior citizens in chair yoga. Had the pleasure to meet and hear the High Commissioner of India himself who graced the event.

Later the same day, we ended the day with the main event back at CSC Tessensohn with a full programme of speeches and performances before the yoga practice. It really felt like I came a full circle to where I first started with Vyasa. 😊

My final session was on the following morning at CSC Bukit Batok, semi outdoors in an open pavilion with the pool as our view. So fortunate that the 6yo who gave the speech the previous night was invited here too! I got a much better view to her outstanding performance!! Thereafter, I took on the role of demonstrator and managed to execute all instructions successfully.

Yoga has really become such an important part of my life and it means so much to me that I am now able to introduce it and its benefits to so many more people. Still unsure about becoming a professional yoga instructor as something about linking it to monetary value feels wrong.. Anyway, looking forward to the upcoming thank-you party! And of course, many more IDY to come..

Happy Loving Day!

I first heard of them only when the movie came out in 2016. Jailed for marrying the love of your life. For the Valentine baby in me, that is just totally unacceptable so although I did not watch the movie, I read up about this resilient couple who never gave up. Because of the persistence and courage of Mildred and Richard Loving, Americans can truly have the freedom to marry since 12 June 1967.

Actually in the context of Singapore, the Loving vs Virginia case is hardly relevant since Eurasians (persons of mixed European and Asian descent) first arrived in the 19th century, interracial marriages here are hardly out of the norm. I love the aptness of the last name of the plaintiffs but I would never imagine this unofficial celebration held annually in June would now feel this close to heart.

Happy Loving Day to my dearest hubby and all interracial couples out there! Although we come from such vastly different backgrounds, love is love, and love is enough to make a relationship (and all the work that comes with it) worthwhile. But yup, definitely glad I do not have to worry about being thrown into jail for loving you.

what does it mean?

Over the weekend, I attended a performance-installation curated as part of Singapore International Festival of Arts (SIFA) 2019. I had always enjoy art somewhat, I am a dancer after all and my first out-of-the-world experience at Singapore Biennale 20?? is still deeply etched in my mind. But I don't usually actively seek out artistic performances or exhibitions to attend. What I do catch, often and largely, depends on my much more artsy gal pal Geri. Come to think of it, almost all of the paid artistic performances I attended were with her! 😄

I was actually slightly reluctant to catch this particular one when she first suggested it to me, probably because I was feeling kind of broke and didn't really want to spend unnecessarily. But it had been a while since we met and her recommendations had never failed so far so I said "yes!" to ST/LL. This post is not a review on it. But here is an incredibly well-written review on it if that's what you want. I hope my writing skills reach that level sometime in the near future... but anyway my post is more about the thoughts and emotions it had evoked in me.

First of all, I should have noticed the ingenious subtlety of its title way earlier than 10 minutes before the start of the performance. But I did not. It was only when we were seated and perusing the programme booklet did it hit me like a ton of bricks (ok, maybe not that hard, it is subtle after all). I had assumed it was some kind of acronym or code - ST = standard and LL = long lens?!?! but it was a play of the word STILL.

Before I share the director's (Shiro Takatani) explanation of it, I need to put it out there this recurring thought/dream/imagery that I have been replaying in my mind for years. Consider a bowl of marbles. It can be a very serene scenario of pretty marbles sitting in a bowl. Then consider the bowl being upturned and that direct opposite of serenity as the marbles dispersed in all directions. Sometimes, there are marbles, other times there had been liquid, water, seeds, sticks etc. But always this replay of containment versus .... chaos? release? I could not make sense of it. I know there is some truth or knowledge or understanding to be gained from it. Something about the crazily minuscule point between the two states but I could not figure it out all these years. I had tried posing this odd "question" to just 2 people who I thought might have an answer for me but it is still unraveling to this day...

So... try and understand just how big my eyes widened as I read these words from the director:

ST/LL is taken from the word "still". The slash signifies a sense of being "in between" - for example, being between one moment and the next - and expresses the fluctuations between being tranquil or stationary to being busy or in motion. The slash also alludes to the idea to what extent can we recognise a very short amount of time?

I was ordained to watch this performance! By then, I literally could not wait for it to begin. Unfortunately, perhaps because I was not in the pink of health at that moment, I never quite got into a state of "meditation on silence" during the performance. My mind just refused to take a back seat and I was constantly trying to "make sense" and explain to myself what my eyes and ears were taking in. It really was a very arresting visual display. I was totally in awe with the technicalities, lighting and use of multimedia. [How in the world do they superimpose delayed or reversed images on a live stream?!?] However I much preferred the gentle swishing of water as the performers moved across the shallow pool onstage to the almost-oppressive music composition by Ryuichi Sakamoto.

At the end of it, I still had no answer. Perhaps there was never meant to be an answer? Or perhaps I had not properly formulated a question yet? In any case, I thought this was a perfect example of how art is the only way to express something that can never be fully explained in words, of any language. You can only experience it.



PS: Writing this post is also a way for me to determine if I ever get any closer to finding an answer in future.

Changi Bejewelled!

On the first day when she opened her doors for a week of preview before the official opening, I arrived full of excitement for what I thought to be a guided tour to the new "terminal". Almost immediately I received my first surprise.
Given the specific duration stated on what I thought to be coveted limited preview tickets, I had expected to wait in line and be brought around in groups to experience the facilities systematically. But there was no queue to enter and we were allowed in half an hour earlier. A check with the crew revealed that it was to be a free and easy first look of a mega mall! I'm not even sure if "mega" is an accurate enough description. 

It was certainly big enough to hold a great number of people. I found out that each time slot of 3 hours allowed 25000 ticket holders to enter but I was pretty sure that when we arrived at 330pm, the crowd within still consist of guests from the morning slot!
Feeling a little lost and stranded without a guided tour, we eventually decided to follow a photo-worthy trail suggested on Now Boarding. So off we go for the escalators to the highest floor - Canopy Park on level 5.
I have yet to attempt a live video on Facebook and had totally missed the perfect opportunity for the virgin attempt with that first look of the lush greenery! So please please please, if you have not been to Jewel yet, make sure you have your video rolling as you take the escalator up to the Piazza. You will really be enthralled by the magnificent surroundings and the overview of the entire venue inclusive of the Rain Vortex!

Next, we strolled through the Topiary Walk but were not quite able to pose with all the animal horticulture displays given the sheer number of people waiting for their turns. The elephant is definitely my favourite! 

Many of the attractions such as the Canopy Bridge and Bouncing Net were still not open so I was not surprised when I didn't come across the Mirror Maze but we did managed to snap another interesting reflection of us on the underside of the Discovery Slides! 

Didn't quite pose with them but the Foggy Bowls and Petal Garden are quite breathtaking on their own. 

The OCD in me was also able to position myself right on spot to capture our iconic Control Tower in the centre of this almost symmetrical photo! 

Then we skipped YotelAir and instead went directly to the Viewing Deck on level 2 to get this panoramic shot. The clear view and the light mist made my heart soar... my photo taking skills do not do it justice. 

Next is the Cataract Falls in the Forest Valley. It really is easy to miss these little gems against the gigantic and thunderous falling of water a stone's throw away. Glad I didn't! 

Last but not least, I really wanted to execute their final suggestion of shooting slow-mo against the waterfall in the Immersion Garden on Basement 2. Took my hubby a few tries (kudos darling!) but I do love the effect of this shot! How lucky am I to find a spot with no other visitors too!

So there you go... this was my first experience of #jewelthroughmyeyes (love this hashtag btw) and it will certainly not be the last! So many good food to try, when the queues are more manageable!

My ZW intended Wedding

my self-made mini bouquet made of shells - spot the rings!

If you have no idea what ZW refers to, perhaps this post will not interest you. Although the concept of zero waste is getting increasingly common, I personally think it is really important to frame it properly and realise that ZW is a desirable and even essential goal but to achieve absolute ZW given our current lifestyle will not be easy. Sometimes it feels downright impossible especially when you care about your relationships with others.

I have always cared about the environment, the main reason most people got started on this journey. Beginning from my uni days when I joined NUS Students Against Violation of the Earth (SAVE) group, I really want to be part of the solution by acting and choosing consciously in my everyday life. But I would say I only really learnt about sustainability and the power of choices and actions after joining the Facebook group - Journey to Zero Waste (JtZW) in Oct 2016. That is how my intention to make my own wedding a ZW one came about.

First of all, I am not the person to go to when planning events. I dread organising this sort of thing and easily get disheartened by the mere knowledge of the potential waste that such events almost inevitably incur. But as this was my own wedding, with newfound insight to ZW possibilities and the support of a fiance hailing from the country with world's highest recycling rate, I somehow found the strength and faith in myself to want to make it happen.

In my mind when I began planning the wedding, I remembered distinctively that I wanted a small and simple wedding. Many ZW-based choices simply come down to doing away with what is not necessary and having attended my fair share of weddings, I knew what I did not want in mine. Unfortunately for my now-hubby whose idea of "small and simple" was just the signing of the papers with immediate family, I did still want to involve my extended family and at least the tea ceremony. Still traditional in some ways.. and somehow the wedding became a lot more elaborate than expected.

Venue(s)

With the initial idea of "small wedding", I first looked at restaurants that are able to cater to less than 100 people but after taking into consideration the location, cuisine and whether they served sharks fin (big no no!!), each of them was eliminated one by one. Eventually I contacted my first choice hotel, found their package fitting and our date available that I just stopped looking at others!

PARKROYAL on Pickering is my first choice because it is an eco-friendly hotel and I just love the whole architecture design with greenery along flowy lines. It was also easy to finalise on it as it was where Axel and I had our first staycation together. Lots of sweet memories already made here.
The package we selected was a basic solemnisation one without excessive themed decorations or wedding favours. (One of the first things I knew I did not want to have at my wedding.) Given their status as a Green City Hotel, I made assumptions that waste in the hotel is already minimised. However during our meetings with the manager Joelyn, I did explicitly state that I was aiming for a ZW wedding and even suggested to them to consider rolling out a ZW-focused wedding package! It will be such a niche, befitting the hotel!

After deciding on having a lunch buffet at the hotel which cater for an ideal number of 100 guests, and with various queries from friends who found out about our upcoming wedding, I began toying with the idea of also having a dinner party just for friends. As Axel had been very accommodating to my preferences with regard to my family, I thought it would be lovely to have the dinner venue to be somewhere distinctively German. Again, without spending too much time and effort, we swiftly decided on Stuttgart Blackforest Boutique S-Cafe. Similarly, during our meetings with manager Wen Cheng, we made it known our intention to make it a ZW event and thus one of the first points that he took note of was to "hide the straws". Unfortunately, some wastage I had not forsee and had to accept included paper table signage, paper napkins and plastic dessert containers here. Could I have insisted on cloth napkins? Hmmm....

For both venues, as they are proper dining venues with actual cutlery and kitchen ware, no disposables were used despite both meals being buffets. This point was very important to me. Each venue also had its own unique ambience and design that there was no need for me to bring in additional decorations even if I wanted to. Finally, I like that both venues are within walking distance to a MRT station and centrally located in or near Orchard. Although I could not possibly have controlled how my guests arrive for our wedding, at least the option to take public transport was not totally out of question!

Food 

From most wedding banquets that I had attended, unfinished food at every course was almost a given.

Thus, I preferred the idea of buffets for which I can somewhat control the amount of food being prepared by ordering less than the expected number of guests, a suggestion I learned from JtZW group. As it was still highly likely to be leftover food, I fiddled with the idea of purchasing mason jars or similar as wedding favours so that guests may immediately utilise them to pack the excess food home. I put this idea forward to the JtZW group and received a lot of feedback from the community which brought up food safety concern among other considerations that I had not factored in. Through that post, a founder of Food Rescue @ Events reached out to me to consider having their team to save the remaining food after our meals. What a brilliant idea!

Naturally, Axel and I were both very keen to prevent the excess food from going to waste but getting approval from the respective venues was not as easy as we thought. Given Singapore has implemented time-stamping on cooked food, the managers were understandably resistant to have a third-party collect the food for later consumption. Thankfully, myself together with the volunteers of Food Rescue @ Events were able to  reassure and convince them that the food were taken at our own risk and I was very happy to see the food being packed to benefit others.

 

 

Bouquet and Floral

I have never really been a flower lover. Generally I prefer admiring and smelling them while they are still planted with roots in the soil so I did not really see the need for floral decorations at our venues or even a bridal bouquet. Such a pity for these to subsequently wither and die, no?

Over at PARKROYAL, the package was inclusive of table centrepieces by their own florist. There was also a slightly larger setup for the reception table which doubled up as table decor for the solemnisation table held on a different level. Love the innovation of my bridesmaids! I only hoped that these were reused or re-purposed by the hotel given their green status and my conversation with manager Joelyn. On hindsight, perhaps I could have collected them and redistribute them to a nursing home like the people from Happy Flowers. But the logistics of it..... hmmmm......

I really almost got away without a bridal bouquet until my sisters/bridesmaids heard of it and would have nothing of it. One of them was ready to order and pay on my behalf so I gave in and accepted her florist's number. Surprisingly, I ended up quite liking what I saw (simple stalks tied together with twine) and made arrangement with said florist. We were at the point of payment when I found out there would be a lot of wastage from that one bouquet as she does not have a shop and could not benefit from economies of scale nor save the excess. And when I finally decided to go with it anyhow she was no longer available. I wouldn't be surprised that she might be just weary of having to deal with a ZW-focused bride..

As even mummy dearest stated that I should have a bridal bouquet, I began a search for it albeit reluctantly. And I did find my dream bridal bouquet eventually! On Carousell no less! Just happened to chance on it and even Axel was receptive to it so we agreed to rent this gorgeous grey-silver masterpiece. Moreover, it totally matched my shoes and Axel's vest on that day! Really love that it is such a statement piece and can be reused again and again. If I knew I would have a bridal bouquet, I would have made my own bridal brooch bouquet! Maybe with a touch of red..

On a side note, Carousell was also where I found perfectly reusable bridal car decor that dolled up the car without being overdone! Fixed them up on the car myself with the help of daddy dearest with some satin ribbons from my own craft collection. Within a week after the wedding, re-sold them on Carousell!

One thing the traditional me wanted to do was to express my gratitude to my parents during the wedding. After all, it has been nearly 40 years before they could marry me off and really I am who I am today only because of their love, care and upbringing. When it came to selecting a gift for this purpose, I was very pleased to discover Bloomback which not only re-purpose flowers to more lasting gifts but also train and hire marginalised women.

Attires, Hair and Makeup 

My wedding makeup artist was the first person I hired in the planning of my wedding. I hardly wear makeup and am nowhere near even proficient when it comes to prettifying myself. This was one task I knew would be outsourced and it had to be no other than her as I really liked what she did for my bestie for her wedding. She being a professional MUA would also be less likely to waste all the makeup products necessary for the task. I was also quite glad that she did not generate much waste (only 2 tissue papers!) during the process although I made no mention of aiming to be ZW to her. Additionally, she was able to loan me a gorgeous veil for the day! Unfortunately, I lost the dried flowers in my hair which she wanted to reuse and I also threw away the fake eyelashes at the end of the day.

My first option for wedding dress was to rent but I was unable to find one I really like despite trying on quite a few. Next I looked at purchasing one that is versatile enough to still be worn in the future. But mummy dearest wanted me to look like a bride so in one afternoon with my mother and sister-in-law, we browsed dresses on Taobao and found an ideal one in ivory (not white) with a low back. Again, not wanting to waste time and effort, we ordered it. It came and it fit and so it was settled! It is now listed on Carousell and hopefully not be hanging in my wardrobe for too long.

My shoes was a pair I had for more than a year but never worn. It was not bought for the wedding but it turned out to match the dress and bouquet quite beautifully. Similarly, Axel wore a suit and shoes he already owned. However, considering Singapore's humid weather, he had a grey vest tailor-made so that he could have the option of removing the coat and still look well-dressed.

 

Invitations

This was one item I was certain I did not want to waste for the wedding. So I made full use of my aesthetic side and created my own e-invites with the help of Canva. What an amazing tool! I had so much fun designing and redesigning not just the invitations to the lunch and dinner, but even some background slides that was projected on the big screens during the event and an instruction sheet for the reception table.

The invitations were Whatsapp-ed to my guests and I maintained the guest lists (and wedding day schedule) entirely on Google Sheets so I could keep the printing of documents to a minimum.

 

Photobooth?

As we were not having wedding favours, and there were going to be some waiting time in the schedule, I considered the idea of having a photobooth where guests could have fun making memories during our wedding and at least bring home a picture as a keepsake. But eventually I decided digital photos were just fine. But I did make my own photobooth props for the ocassion! Almost all out of recycled materials. Super proud of myself. I was also very luckily blessed by someone from the JtZW group with some used party decorations which I incorporated into mine as a backdrop for the photobooth. These were thereafter reblessed to others in the same group.

Final Thoughts

I tried my best. Really gave this shot to the best of my ability. But as the ex-teacher in me would say, "There is always room for improvement." And when you are planning a major event that involves your family who do not quite buy in to the entire ZW concept, compromises need to be made. With a lot of the traditions carried down over generations, my mother and I had a lot of give-and-take. Initially, I said "no" to many things as I really do not wish to purchase a brand new item that would only be used for a few moments. My mother ended up purchasing new fan, umbrella, lamps and tea set amongst other items because she really believed that these would ensure a blissful marriage for Axel and myself. But my stubborness had also deterred her somewhat that with some "essential" items, instead of buying them for me, she gave an angbao for each in lieu.

Anyhow, I think the most important thing in any wedding of any sort, ZW or not, is to have fun! I had loads of fun and really really enjoyed our special day with our dearest and closest. ☺️