My comfort zone

I think it started when I joined Dance Synergy in my uni days. The awfully shy and quiet girl took the plunge and signed up to potentially embarrass herself on stage. Maybe it was because no audition was required but I really do not know what made me do it, I did not even had a friend to attend the first session with. But there was no turning back from then.

Dancing liberated me in so many ways and taking that first step out of my then comfort zone seemingly destroyed the entire concept of comfort zone for me. It seems nothing became too scary or out of the norm for me. I travelled alone, became a The Little Gym instructor, drove in Europe, picked up pole dancing and performed in public places, slept in an airport, tried cliff diving, went sky diving, juggled work and studies to earn a Master's, cycled to work, roughed it out in Nepal, Bhutan and India, swam with tiger sharks without a cage, broke my own iron bowl to become a certified yoga instructor, started learning a new language at nearly 40....

I considered myself to be fairly adventurous and pretty adaptable. I dislike routines and enjoy making small changes such as taking a different route to a regular place or answering friends' query on what to eat with "surprise me!" and accepting invitations to events spontaneously. It has been a very long time since I thought of myself as stuck in my comfort zone.

Until I was in Jai's yoga class.

I have been practising yoga for about 10 years and am definitely more stretched and flexible than when I first started because I strive to be so. During my YICC, I was also more at ease in achieving most of the poses compared to the rest of my coursemates. No, I am probably nowhere near the standard of yoga gurus or professional yogis but I would not think that I am stuck in my yoga comfort zone.

Until Jai instructed us to do Chaturanga in reverse, challenged us to perfect the basic Utkatasana (chair pose), guided us to perform Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) with Kumbhaka. My limbs were shaking, my steady breath was quickening and it was definitely fear I felt when my lungs screamed for oxygen, reminding me of the time I was at Tulamben. Jai could see we were all struggling and he pep-talked us to constantly confront our limits, to go further and not stay in our comfort zones because yoga is more than just the poses.

Wow. At that instant, I realised I do have my own comfort zone and I was very reluctant to step out of it. What he was asking us to do was really difficult and practically impossible for me to do and made me want to just give up and go straight to Savasana. I realised that precisely because of all the seemingly "uncomfortable" things that I had done in the past 20 years, I conjured up this false belief that I do not have a comfort zone when nothing is further from the truth. Once again, yoga helped me learn more about myself.

Then it was not hard to see the boundary of my comfort zone in other aspects - career, relationships - it is a revelation. And after I recovered from the initial shock of the discovery, I learnt it is not a bad thing to be in your comfort zone. It is an essential personal safe place for each of us to retreat to when the world gets too much to handle.

I am thankful for my comfort zone which, well, has expanded quite a bit with every "uncomfortable" thing I did achieved. I am probably still not ready (physically and mentally) to accomplish all that Jai expects of us but I am pretty certain that the competitive edge in me will not allow me to just settle. But it is good to be able to acknowledge to myself that I do have a comfort zone and have a clearer idea of where my limitations lie so rather than trying to eliminate it I can further expand it.