Aurelius

No, not Dumbledore. Although that was probably where I truly first heard of this name.. I remember relishing the way Johnny Depp enunciated it for Ezra Miller (start at 3:59).

Had not even registered it while watching Gladiator... He was already put in such a good light in that movie... What an unfortunate way for a great man to pass but his death as shown in the movie is not verified.

It is just this year when I was reading "The Power of Now" that I first came across the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism. I was so blown away by how it resonated with me that it earned an entire page entry in my bujo. 

That was my reminder to dig deep into stoicism but it is only just now that I remember and make another resolution to get the book! Which is really saying something because books are one category of things that I do not really buy anymore. Although I love reading physical books over Kindle, they often feel like clutter at home because they are so rarely picked up. I only kept a very small selection of books that I do not think I will ever let go. And now I am certain, this book has earned its space in my house before I have even read it entirely.

So, what jolted my memory again? For the month of June, I have been reading one book a day according to a suggested "30 Must-Read Books before you turn 50" list. Really not a speedy reader so just summaries of the listed books. 😅 Really gained quite some useful knowledge, even from books I would never have picked up from a shelf ("The 48 Laws of Power"?!?!) on my own.

Recommended book for day 24 is "Meditations". The list does not include authors (and there was no need to because it is always evident which best seller the title refers to) and I had thought this was going to be a yoga-related book but it is actually by that Aurelius this post is dedicated to. 😍 Also interesting that I am currently writing this post on the same land where his wife had died...

Usually, I would peruse a few summaries for the book of the day and draw up my own summary, noting the key points, into my bujo. For this particular entry, I noted that this book is "a collection of personal notes which was never meant for publication" and a command to "READ IT!"

I can't wait to get my hands on it! But first I need to decide which translation.....

Devotion

 I fell in love with the concept of combining yoga and dance the first time I watched this video more than a year ago. Two movements close to my heart seamlessly intertwined together and flawlessly performed by the instructor. I had resolved there and then to master it when I was sharing the video and regretfully did nothing for a year.

 So Facebook reminded me of it recently and I was mesmerized all over again. This time I meticulously watched and rewatched it and penned down the sequence of the poses. The song is beautiful. Then I practised it multiple times before I finally remembered to apply the basic 8 counts for dance choreography. Ha! The whole sequence is barely 4 minutes but by the time I could do one time without referring to the video, I was sweating buckets! It felt so good.

 Today after 45 minutes worth of sun salutations, I decided to end off with this 舞极流 instead of savasana. Actually I have never forgotten my love for dancing but that has definitely taken a back seat now that yoga feels so much more accessible. As I watched myself performing it, trying to ignore all the wobbling, unpointed toes and wrinkled forehead, one word came through to me.

 Last month, I wrote down a Sadhguru's quote on devotion. Somehow it called to me when I chanced upon it even though I did not fully understand it. It just felt like something that I need, something I will benefit from. Precisely because I had never understood it or accepted it, or the idea of faith which is a close synonym to devotion.

I had rejected religion. That of the older generation. Another of a few of my ex-es. I have no problem seeing the goodness in religions but that aspect of pure faith or total devotion just does not gel with the logical me. Yet, I am not an atheist. I consider myself spiritual. But even spirituality seems to require faith and devotion. That I struggle with...

 

Devotion
Lustful looks of one who lacks love.
Loving touch of a heart that is soaked in the infinite will.
The tenderness of heartless devotion.
Vast beyond the measure of an ocean.
Barrenness of one who knows not the grace of love and devotion.
All this and more are the ways of the creature called human.
Choose my beloved to be an ocean of devotion.
~Sadhguru

 

However, watching myself doing what I love.... I am starting to get a glimpse. 

Perhaps devotion to me is movement.

 

Headstand or Sirsasana aka The King Pose

 I remember the first time I saw someone I know performing this pose. I had just ended a class at The Little Gym where we taught children developmental gymnastics when in the corner of our huge red padded mat, one parent took advantage of the lull in between classes and decided to go upside down and balance on her head. I believed my jaw dropped. I was very impressed but never thought I would someday be able to achieve the same.

I started practising yoga in group classes and I professed to be a very good student in following instructions to get the most out of each session especially since I did not have the luxury of individualised directions. The headstand was one pose I knew, then, that would be out of my reach because it was an either-you-know-and-you-do-or-you-dont-and-you-skip pose during such group sessions. I only remember one time that an instructor went into details explaining and demonstrating the method step-by-step. Something she said stuck with me all these years, "Do not jump, walk your feet in and when you lift up, it should feel very light."

The pose continued to elude me for years. Until I joined a home studio where class size was limited to 8 people. There I received much more attention and perhaps also due to the fact that I was the youngest and most flexible student, the instructor often got me to demonstrate poses. My confidence soared and my postures improved across the board! When I watched the oldest (70 years old!) student effortlessly get into his headstand, I realised I felt neither envy nor resignation. I believed I would be able to do it.

As a gymnastics instructor, I can do a handstand with ease but as we are not required to hold the pose, I am completely comfortable being upside down but did not know how to stay upside down! I am also a Physics teacher who explains the concept of centre of gravity with diagrams and formula so the logical part of me had the idea that there is only ONE perfect point my entire body needs to be for me to stay upside down. I was so wrong.

The day I finally achieved a headstand by myself, everything just came together. I was ready, both physically and mentally. I was being guided by an attentive and caring instructor. I had shared how an old injury on my little finger was causing pain when my fingers were interlocked beneath my head and she suggested extending the little fingers instead. Although I was very close to the wall, I resolved to not make use of it. 

Just as what the first instructor explained, I did not jump, I kept walking my feet towards my face until past a tipping point, my legs very lightly, gently, gracefully raised above my head and torso. There was not a single point in space that my body froze in position to stay upside down, but there was this entire range of field in which my extended legs and feet could tilt left, right, front, back without me losing my balance. I stayed in pose long enough for me to remind myself to breathe and actually consciously took five breaths before bringing my legs down.

Needless to say, I felt euphoric. I probably looked exactly like what I saw in the parent after she calmly came down from the pose that time so many years ago. And just like her, I practise it wherever I can and whenever appropriate, even on water.

My ideal CB day

 

Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it?

This one has a virus.

We are only one-third into the year and it already felt too long and too wrong. I should be on vacation in Germany right now but I am back home which I have not left since Monday. No work, no yoga, no meet-ups, null.

Had tried not to make too big a deal out of it in the early days but when weekly WCS classes became officially unavailable, it became impossible to ignore. I started a coronavirus timeline in my BuJo. It listed major events worldwide as well as in Singapore and I continue to update it..

As restrictions under the Circuit Breaker measure get tougher, I, like most Singaporeans can only stay home. Not that I am complaining as I can be quite happy doing my own things at home and it is quite amazing the variety of activities that can be done at home with internet access.

• free movies/concerts/musicals/performances online
• yoga and zumba via ZOOM
• cooking with online recipes 
• clap/sing for #SGUnited
• volunteering (MADWISH) and doing good (SG Assist)
• online gathering and even an online wedding!

Yup, a very dear friend of mine got married! She calls it "Love in the time of corona" and it was beautiful. She looked gorgeous in an exquisite dress while her husband was all decked out in a traditional barong while her friends and family from all over the world celebrated with them via Zoom and a live YouTube screening.

However, the days spent within the same four walls do get blurred together and it is so easy to lose track of time... I decided to do one of the collections that I have been meaning to do, with a twist...
Hopefully, I can follow it better now because I have been sleeping at 2 am lately...... 👉👈 And the opposite page is also dedicated to CB because so much time and so many free movies now!!!

My comfort zone

I think it started when I joined Dance Synergy in my uni days. The awfully shy and quiet girl took the plunge and signed up to potentially embarrass herself on stage. Maybe it was because no audition was required but I really do not know what made me do it, I did not even had a friend to attend the first session with. But there was no turning back from then.

Dancing liberated me in so many ways and taking that first step out of my then comfort zone seemingly destroyed the entire concept of comfort zone for me. It seems nothing became too scary or out of the norm for me. I travelled alone, became a The Little Gym instructor, drove in Europe, picked up pole dancing and performed in public places, slept in an airport, tried cliff diving, went sky diving, juggled work and studies to earn a Master's, cycled to work, roughed it out in Nepal, Bhutan and India, swam with tiger sharks without a cage, broke my own iron bowl to become a certified yoga instructor, started learning a new language at nearly 40....

I considered myself to be fairly adventurous and pretty adaptable. I dislike routines and enjoy making small changes such as taking a different route to a regular place or answering friends' query on what to eat with "surprise me!" and accepting invitations to events spontaneously. It has been a very long time since I thought of myself as stuck in my comfort zone.

Until I was in Jai's yoga class.

I have been practising yoga for about 10 years and am definitely more stretched and flexible than when I first started because I strive to be so. During my YICC, I was also more at ease in achieving most of the poses compared to the rest of my coursemates. No, I am probably nowhere near the standard of yoga gurus or professional yogis but I would not think that I am stuck in my yoga comfort zone.

Until Jai instructed us to do Chaturanga in reverse, challenged us to perfect the basic Utkatasana (chair pose), guided us to perform Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) with Kumbhaka. My limbs were shaking, my steady breath was quickening and it was definitely fear I felt when my lungs screamed for oxygen, reminding me of the time I was at Tulamben. Jai could see we were all struggling and he pep-talked us to constantly confront our limits, to go further and not stay in our comfort zones because yoga is more than just the poses.

Wow. At that instant, I realised I do have my own comfort zone and I was very reluctant to step out of it. What he was asking us to do was really difficult and practically impossible for me to do and made me want to just give up and go straight to Savasana. I realised that precisely because of all the seemingly "uncomfortable" things that I had done in the past 20 years, I conjured up this false belief that I do not have a comfort zone when nothing is further from the truth. Once again, yoga helped me learn more about myself.

Then it was not hard to see the boundary of my comfort zone in other aspects - career, relationships - it is a revelation. And after I recovered from the initial shock of the discovery, I learnt it is not a bad thing to be in your comfort zone. It is an essential personal safe place for each of us to retreat to when the world gets too much to handle.

I am thankful for my comfort zone which, well, has expanded quite a bit with every "uncomfortable" thing I did achieved. I am probably still not ready (physically and mentally) to accomplish all that Jai expects of us but I am pretty certain that the competitive edge in me will not allow me to just settle. But it is good to be able to acknowledge to myself that I do have a comfort zone and have a clearer idea of where my limitations lie so rather than trying to eliminate it I can further expand it.

Class Pass - Analysis Paralysis or Super Duper?

I first heard of Class Pass from a new student to the Mysore class which I enjoy and attend quite regularly. We were chatting about how advanced the level of the class is and she mentioned how worthwhile it was given the relatively low number of credits it cost her. I was immediately intrigued as the Mysore class is not one of the free classes which I am entitled to as a YICC graduate and it in fact cost more than my usual yoga class.

Besides the possibility to attend my favourite yoga class at a cheaper rate, I was also attracted to the idea of being able to attend a variety of fitness programs at different studios. Afterall, I have been thinking of returning to pole and giving spin and barre classes a try...

Pity I didn't managed to get a referral code from said new student but a search on Google quickly brought me to the right site. However, despite the lure of a free week trial, I first opted for a City Guide for undetermined reasons. It actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I was then offered a 2 weeks trial instead! But I kept missing the limited valid time period that in the end I just went with the one week. Better than nothing?!

The trouble began AFTER signing up! The choices are so endless and limitless that even after applying filter for the type of classes I am interested in, I found myself short listing too many options, previewing their reviews and eliminating some and went back to wondering which was the class that caught my attention. In a bid to make the full use of my limited free credits, I got so bogged down by factors such as location and timing that I very nearly forgo the entire freebie!

Thankfully, when I retried a second time I limited myself to one particular evening and was able to select an interesting new class - rope yoga! It was basically a combination of pole and yoga. And it made me realise that this type of membership is perfect for me who appreciates the variety and flexibility it offers. Within that one week, I went on to try another novel program,  wheel yoga, and classes at 3 studios that I heard much about but would unlikely to try out without this. In fact, I even managed to try out a meditation class at Vyasa which I would otherwise have to pay for. And the experience was great because signing in was never an issue and I did not feel unwelcome as I initially feared at any of the studio!

So, I became an official member of the Class Pass and began forking out the minimum SGD 59 for their basic package. Hope to be more regular in my yoga practice and of course to finally try out spin and barre (nope, never to HIIT). Just keeping my fingers crossed that the credits for classes do not inflate after the first month?!

If you have been thinking of giving Class Pass a try, I say go for that free week! Better yet, ask me for a referral code and we will both benefit!

International Day of Yoga 2019

21st June - summer solstice - officially adopted by the UN as International Day of Yoga after being endorsed by 175 out of 193 member states. That is a noteworthy record where more than 90% of the countries of the world actually agreed on something. Yoga for better health of the entire world population.

Although this year is already the 5th year that it is being celebrated worldwide, I was only aware of it last year when I was on the search for a suitable yoga school to learn to become an instructor. Having decided to take up YICC at Vyasa Singapore, I was informed of the event for IDY 2018 held at CSC Tessensohn.

Then, I was a participant, quite a lonely one too. But this year, I was a volunteer and really glad to contribute as an instructor, a demonstrator, and an assistant alongside my YICC mates. Had assumed it would be a single day event but Vyasa, as one of the main organisers working with the High Commision of India, oversaw nearly 200 sessions across the island over about 2 weeks!

Preparation began a month earlier with weekly practice of the Common Yoga Protocol prepared by the Ministry of Ayuverda, Yoga, Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha and Homoeopathy (AYUSH) in India. Volunteers were also invited to a photoshoot at Esplanade before we were assigned to the various venues and sessions.

The photoshoot was set at 7am and it had been a long time since I woke up that early for anything. But upon arriving at the outdoor theatre by the waters, I was immediately refreshed and surprisingly stayed pretty alert for the entire session adopting various asanas for the photoshoot with over 50 other volunteers (an organisation nightmare).

My first assignment was totally out of my expectation. As a first-time volunteer, I assumed I would be taking on the role of an assistant, instead, I became the only instructor available for a session to nearly 20 participants at Boon Lay. Thankfully the teacher in me took over and the session went well. I had one participant inquiring the whereabouts of Vyasa after I mentioned it and another requesting for the sequence of asanas I taught... got to mean something right? 😃

The second one was comparatively relaxed as I was one of many assistants to a regular volunteer. In fact, the number of assistants was more than the number of participants in the beautiful Botanical Gardens. Outdoor yoga was lovely although I really did not enjoy the wet grass we were practising on. The calming and healing sounds of the singing bowls during savasanah were out of the world wonderful too.

Right after that, I went along to my third session at Sunlove Whampoa where I really could put my mandarin knowledge and limited dialect to good use as we guided a huge group of senior citizens in chair yoga. Had the pleasure to meet and hear the High Commissioner of India himself who graced the event.

Later the same day, we ended the day with the main event back at CSC Tessensohn with a full programme of speeches and performances before the yoga practice. It really felt like I came a full circle to where I first started with Vyasa. 😊

My final session was on the following morning at CSC Bukit Batok, semi outdoors in an open pavilion with the pool as our view. So fortunate that the 6yo who gave the speech the previous night was invited here too! I got a much better view to her outstanding performance!! Thereafter, I took on the role of demonstrator and managed to execute all instructions successfully.

Yoga has really become such an important part of my life and it means so much to me that I am now able to introduce it and its benefits to so many more people. Still unsure about becoming a professional yoga instructor as something about linking it to monetary value feels wrong.. Anyway, looking forward to the upcoming thank-you party! And of course, many more IDY to come..

Saying Goodbye to Grandma..

My ah ma was a tough woman. She lived through WWII, borne 9 children and pretty much brought up myself and 4 other cousins single-handedly when we were younger. I remember days when we kids got so rowdy in her 4-room flat that she had to shout at us while preparing meals or washing and hanging up laundry.

I remember her cooking - pork chops coated with biscuit crumbs, thick meat porridge with my favourite ketchup and made from scratch ngoh hiang which we only got to enjoy during CNY. Her homecooked meals were her communication of love for us.
 
I remember the white powder that she liked to put on just as other women of her era did - my first introduction to make-up. Though she rarely looked made up, I thought she was beautiful, especially when she smiled. 

Around the time when I started JC, days spent at grandma's house got fewer and fewer but when I do visit, I would definitely get my favourite dish of tomato egg. We would sit together to watch TV programmes; she would ask me for the time and that was one thing I became pretty good at in hokkien; or she would ask me to do little chores like turning on the light or turning off the fan.

We could hardly hold a conversation together but I loved being cheeky with her, teasing her about this or that. When I got older, one thing I often "told" her was to stop smoking. I would gestured taking the cigarette out of mouth and putting it out and she would often just smile and wave me off.

Once, I got really upset with her because she didn't want a wheelchair that enabled her to wheel herself around. She wanted one that only had the option of being pushed around although she still had strength in her arms. It seemed to me that she had given up then.

It was last February during one of my visits that it finally dawned on me that the time might be near. She was frail, no longer walking and hardly speaking. I remember holding her hand and feeling her soft yet easily bruised skin. She was still her cheeky self, smiling and teasing me about my then-boyfriend. I remember thinking to myself that I want more pictures with ah ma..

20th Jan 19: Birthday celebration! Ah ma was 93 years old. Technically it was celebrating both our birthdays as we share the same lunar birthday. She was happy with her cake and all the little ones running around her.

7th Feb 19: On the second day of CNY, she was hospitalised. I visited her and sat mostly silently by her bedside. Looking at all the tubes on her, sensing the discomfort she was experiencing, I took her hand and silently thought to myself. "I would love for you to be at my wedding, I want so much for you to be at my wedding, I want to serve the granddaughter and grandson-in-law tea to you. But you don't have to stay for that, you don't have to stay at all. You can go, ah ma..."

10th Feb 19: I was greeted with countless messages and missed calls on my phone after finishing a yoga class. Frantically hailed a cab and rushed down to the hospital with a pounding heart. She took a while but she opened her eyes when she heard that I had arrived. Then she gave an even bigger welcome to my then-fiance, the yandao. She survived that day.

17th Feb 19: She appeared better, was able to recognize more of us, spoke more coherently and once again was asking for the time every now and then. I thought she looked really cute when she smacked her lips together. Then she showed us what she was capable of by blowing bubbles into a straw. Definitely A+++ for you ah ma!

25th Feb 19: She was well enough to be transferred from the hospital to a community hospital. Everything went smoothly and transportation plans for her from the new venue to the wedding venue were considered. Everyone was in high spirits.

2nd Mar 19: I was called to the hospital although I had planned to meet my jiemeis to discuss the wedding day schedule. I arrived within an hour to see her with an oxygen mask covering half her face. With the help of my aunt, she presented me with the golden bangles she had asked my aunt to purchase for me the day before. Pictures were taken. I thanked her with a kiss on her forehead. My family told me to proceed with my plans.

After meeting with my jiemeis, I got another call to return to the hospital, this time with Axel. When we arrived, she had been moved to a private room and almost all family members in town were present. After waiting for the tea cups to arrive, we served tea to ah ma and received her blessings. More pictures and video were taken. She looked really alert and agreed that the tea was sweet. Although all of us were prepared for the worst that night, her condition improved well enough to be transferred back to her previous common room.

7-8th Mar 19: It was my Guo Da Li day and as per tradition, Axel was required to prepare a special angbao just for ah ma. My dad delivered it to her the following day and she opened her eyes for this picture of her with the angbao that was rightfully hers.

10th Mar 19: One week to the wedding. Visited ah ma with Axel. Her limbs felt cold and she complained that her legs were aching. Tried to make her comfortable by moving her limbs for her. Held her hands and she would tightened her grip on mine. Told her to sleep and rest. Questioned the doctor about the tips of her fingers and he called us aside to tell us to be prepared.

11th Mar 19: While out running errands for the wedding with Axel, my mind constantly thought of  ah ma. Can one ever be fully prepared for such an event? I received the news via Whatsapp while we were in a crowded MRT train. Initially I was calm, but as I leaned into Axel and buried my face in his chest, the tears just overcame me. The realisation that she was gone was just too much.

Then I received a call from my brother to remind me to stay away and not participate in the funeral. Am I really not allowed to say my last goodbye? Another call from my mum then another from an aunt. Some indignation and fresh tears each time. Perhaps it really was for the best that I was absent.

That day, the skies opened and rain hammered down after a long dry spell.

13th Mar 19: As I was kept up to date via our family group chat without being able to be physically present, I tried to go about my normal days, doing things that I routinely do. I was okay. I talked to my friends and was comforted. I attended my usual yoga class. The necessity to turn inwards and focus on my gaze, body and breath made it unnecessary to constantly remind myself that life goes on. I felt great that I was able to execute all the poses.. until savasanah. Totally relaxed, the mind went right back to ah ma and I pretty much burst into tears.

15th Mar 19: It was the appointed day for Axel and I to collect our marriage certificate from ROM. It was also the day ah ma was to be cremated. With an insane need to do something, we headed for the beach in ECP. Both of us folded some origami boats, I gathered some fallen white flowers and set the little memorial boats adorned with flowers out to sea. Rituals do have meaning. For me, that simple act was significant and comforting. I know my ah ma loves me and that I am in her heart as much as she will always be in mine.

 
Ang Char (1926 - 2019) is survived by 9 children, 6 children-in-law, 17 grandchildren, 9 grandchildren-in-law and 7 great-grandchildren.

Haleeom

 
"haleeom!" not even sure if the spelling is correct but it was 
something i heard before the start of every class I attended 
with YICC students during my Advanced Yoga Retreat to 
SVYASA Bangalore. I don't even know the actual meaning of 
it but it probably means something along the line of "Here. 
I am present." as it was what students called out when 
attendance was taken. 

There is something about the sound of it that I really like. 
"ha-lee-om!" including "om" - the origin of universe. Perhaps 
it is the entire Sanskrit language but I just love how calming 
it makes me feel... sometimes I wonder if I was born in India 
in one of my past lives!

India... to be honest, I never thought I would ever visit the 
country. After the various horror stories I heard coming from 
this place, it pretty much became the only Asian country I had 
no desire to visit - and I have always preferred our part of the
world over any Western countries on my yearly wanderlust-fueled 
adventures.

So when I saw the opportunity which combined an advancement in 
my yoga journey and assurance of safety as we would be mostly 
in a protected campus, I practically jumped on it! It could well 
be one of the best decisions I made this year. I cannot imagine 
missing out on the wealth of knowledge I had gained during the 
trip..

I can't say that everything that I heard during the retreat had 
made sense to me. But much of the gems which had struck a chord 
with me or within me were quickly swyped onto my dependable S7 Edge 
and now here they will stay for future reference when necessary. 

Don't intend to expand beyond the short notes I have taken but 
my favourite guru certainly deserves a special mention! Mohan-ji 
is a jovial and approachable man who so kindly invited us to spend 
a few afternoons with him at his humble house. Those sessions were 
the best memories of the entire retreat when he shared his teaching 
selflessly and with a touch of humor too! 

A final note to self: be open to listening to something you think 
you have already heard before. Much of what I learnt during the 
trip was not exactly new to me but from a different teacher in a 
different scenario, I gained invaluable insights.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*if entire philosophy condenses into one word - love
gross love - gone when not reciprocated
sacrificial love - 
divine love - total surrender

*world possession or pleasures
- mixed with dukha - acquire, preserve, loss - all involved pain
- unsatisfactory - due to always wanting
- makes us dependent - want becoming need

*heat light and colour
eternity knowledge bliss
inner peace

*we are all travellers - time,  space,  causation. aim to be 
travellers of yogic type of mind rather than non-yogic. despite 
wanting our journey to be comfortable but we all have 
attachments - partner, baggage, money. mind travelling faster than 
time. don't let mind be disturbed by external circumstances. just 
an expression leads to physical reactions creating ailments. 
disturbed mind creates disturbances in the surrounding.

*yoga is movement from restlessness to restfulness.

*expect the least without being negative. 

*calligraphy - keep mind and hand at same speed. instead of not 
dotting i or crossing t.. staying in the moment

*indocrine glands secrete chemicals or enzymes directly into 
specific body organ endocrine glands secrete chemicals or hormones 
into the blood stream which circulate through entire body. hormones 
are chemical messengers which are only received by their respective 
target organ receptors. only message is "work harder!" and alter the 
action of the body

*pituitary gland is called master gland because it can control 
other glands..

*yoga poses that simulate glands are gently encouraging them to work 
optimally like giving incentives and benefits to workers rather than 
scolding or beating them to work harder

*like darkness is due to absence of light, anger can only be 
diminished by presence of compassion. 

*principle of body: use me or lose me.

*yoga is hyper extending muscles you rarely use. this causes brain to 
send "new" signals to muscles to relax.  bringing about activation of 
relaxation in entire body. yoga enhances parasympathetic system which 
relaxes the body and improves digestive system. parasympathetic and 
sympathetic systems are functional compared to the nerves and glands 
which are structural. vegas nerve. 

*bee breathing with sound production has additional benefit as person 
pays attention to the sound produced bringing him to the present moment 
which again enhances parasympathetic system. thinking about past or 
future which are stress inducing uses sympathetic system. 

*yoga is the only way to activate parasympathetic system. 
modern medicine has nothing for it.

*one tea spoon of salt to half litre of warm water for kriya water

*laughing yoga: 
hand on throat - hehe
on chest - haha
on stomach - hoho 
cocktail yoga
laugh while looking at one another

*drsujatasinghr.com

*story of missing diamond necklace - importance of awareness that 
we are whole. 

*anything that can be objectified is not me. 

*entire person "zipped" into a seed at deep sleep. last thought 
before that will be first thought when wake up like a seed blooming. 
your last thought at death becomes the seed blooming in next life. 

*gurdjief. happy rich man with no attachments. 

*asana and practices are for people who cannot "see" the path. 
people who can.. just continue their lives "playing a role" but 
they are aware and conscious. significantly changed inside. 

*no lifestyle. only wife style. 🤣

*yoga is to see the de-conditioned the mind, see the world as it is. 

*path of science and religion is the same. to find the ultimate truth. 
science does experiments through external means. yogi's lab is within 
his mind through internal means. 

*Paul Brunton "a search in secret India". problems were not solved, 
they were resolved. all questions dropped. 

*bliss is silence. silence is bliss. yogic mindset is to look within 
yourself to identify what is happening when you are 'happy'. the 
instant when you taste your favourite food there is silence- no thoughts. 

*gross. subtle. causal. 

*urge to live/be immortal/going back to our true nature manifest in
 three ways - have children, have money, have recognition/ fame.  
 
*sleep with awareness so you may wake up with awareness. give 5 mins 
to stay in bed and notice. try not to wake up to an alarm. focus on 
time to wake up before sleeping and you will. 

*have awareness to play your role when in society but be detached 
within. like a lotus in the water. 

*navel region is centre of peace. a-kara chanting strengthens it. 
u-kara chanting makes you full of love for everyone and everything. 
m-kara chanting is for intuition/ sixth sense. 
om-kara for spirituality 

*slow down. not physically but in your mind. quiet down the 
inner dialogue. 

*if mind is fast, start by saying om fast too. it has innate quality 
to slow down. start noticing the gap between two om to get into silence. 

*be & make. be peaceful and you will unconsciously make others around 
you peaceful too.

*wrong things only happen when you are not aware. when you are aware, 
things only go right. 

*three tenets of all religions. charity, love, self-control

Sutras and Aphorisms

Although I have been practising yoga for many years, I only learn of Patanjali and his Yoga Sutras after I embarked on the YICC with Vyasa Singapore. I have always know that yoga is more than just contorting your body into different positions and that was the main reason why I decided to dive deep into the study of yoga but I would never imagine that yoga is that much more. In fact, it feels like it is all.

When the 80 hours theory sessions of YICC came to an end, Master Manoj strongly recommended Patanjali's Yoga Sutras among a few other books. Considering how much content was covered and compressed within those hours, I was inclined to learn more on my own but also because of that brief yet overwhelming introduction, I was unsure if it would really be beneficial knowledge..

So I conveniently let it slip out of my mind until I came across an English translation of it on sale at a book fair. I hesitated on buying it, especially since I know I will easily be able to find online versions of it for free, but I decided to share this serendipitous find with my fellow Vyasa coursemates via Whatsapp. I received 7 requests to purchase on behalf. Ha! It relieved me of the decision to buy one for myself as there were only 5 books left!

However, while the books were in my possession, my curiosity got the better of me and I began to read and copy the sutras and aphorisms word for word, almost. I have never enjoy reading off a screen (thus I never had a Kindle despite my love for reading) and we all know information is better retained (and understood) when written rather than just read. Moreover, I want to practise my handwriting! =P

Over a period of about a week, I wrote down what I read into a blank notebook, marking each sutra and aphorism accordingly, sequentially. I expected not to be able to understand it fully but the choice of terms and excessive mode of writing in this particular book made the content all the more difficult to digest. I thought aphorisms are supposed to be straightforward!?! In addition to the fact that I wanted all of them to fit into the rather slim notebook, I started to summarize and drop phrases where I felt I would not be altering the original meanings.

Thankfully I succeeded in squeezing all 195 aphorisms in. But *horror*, because I was so meticulous about it, I discovered that one aphorism is missing from the book. Somehow, the 18th aphorism of the sutra II is not in the book. [15, 16, 17, 19... where is 18??] And I vaguely remembered that it was mentioned during our course that there are a total of 196 aphorisms??

In some ways, it was as incredulous as reading the Bible. The logical part of me rejects it. Which comes back to the idea of faith. On this point, Master Manoj explicitly pointed out that our education impedes our understanding and acceptance of it... a lot to unlearn for me then. However, it also reminded me of the Chinese period dramas I grew up watching. All the shifus and yaojings doing the exact incredible things as described in the sutras written some 1600 years ago. So this is where all that stemmed from...?

Today, I decided to search for that missing aphorism and found a oh-so-much-better translation of  the Yoga Sutras from the website of The Arlington Center.  Just the very first line read simply:

Now, the teachings of yoga.

vs

Assuredly, the exposition of Yoga, or Concentration, is now to be made.

Now, the former is what I would called an aphorism. Initially, I got a little frustrated that I had copied a version that I did not particularly enjoyed. Many of the terms translated in the second version appealed to me a lot more. Pure awareness, latent impressions, unsurpassed joy are but some examples. 

But as I skimmed through the second version, I slowly realised that rather than one version being better or closer to the truth, knowledge of the two versions has greatly enhanced my understanding of the original sutras. I can only imagine that further reading of other versions of the same text will similarly deepen my appreciation and interpretation of this ancient text. This is a revelation as I rarely reread a book a second time.

As with many of the rest of the aphorisms, I do not find the 18th of sutra II to be particularly outstanding or groundbreaking. I understood each individual term without gaining any insight to the "truth" within it or the necessity of it. However, comparing the two versions, I discovered that my copied version is missing another aphorism in sutra IV! Due to the difference in terms and style of writing, it took me some time before I could determined that the first version had completely skipped the 16th aphorism and only had 33 instead of 34 aphorisms. There are a total of 196 aphorisms in the 4 sutras!

But the object is not dependent on (diversity of thoughts); 

if it were, what would happen to it when nobody was looking?

The phrase within the parenthesis is from the first version as this aphorism is a continuation from the previous one so I combined the two versions for my own better understanding. And this particular aphorism speaks to me. It is a concept I debated within myself before and this somewhat clarifies. But that would be for another blog post.. =)

Really quite enjoying my yoga journey all in all. Just this reading of 2 different interpretations of Yoga Sutras has shown me that rather than looking for and only reading the one "perfect" interpretation, keep looking and keep reading to reach the "perfect" understanding. My neat and clean little notebook will have to be "improved" by ever more annotations..