hurting

十全十美 不奢求
二人世界 缘份浅
月异日新 无奈何
好景不长 应释怀
难以预料 除了疼 痛 伤 泣 也只有
熬。

can't be the rose

omg... i let a month passed without posting at all... and there was no lack of materials... but somehow nothing is ever that important enough for me to sit down and pen all that flurry of thoughts into meaningful words... 

no more urgent urges... 
not my new sleek and gorgeous tablet/laptop hybrid (which i named sammi), 
not the boston marathon incident (senseless and hurtful which i can never understand), 
not taking MC for the first time this year (which was serious enough to be off work for 2 days - woohoo!), 
not the subtle but perhaps enormous difference between "not meant to be" and "meant not to be" (i celebrate amazing writers!!), 
finally not even the one change that usually would have turned my life upside down.... 
guess i will do right to stick with devoting my posts to TDSSD..

but before that... a piece i written for school... and given the numerous positive feedback i received, i say the near heart attack i had while presenting it over the PA system is quite worth it!

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The Little Prince is one of my favourite books. It is written in such simple language yet the lessons within are so profound. The love story between the prince and his rose helped me understand that a relationship is not always tender and delightful but often involves pain and hurt as well. I felt the prince’s love for his rose and once thought it would be a blessing to be his rose. It was a very real love story of two human beings. I had wondered what kind of woman the rose had been for the prince to feel so much for yet choose to leave behind.

However, I am not here to review The Little Prince today. The book I like to recommend is titled “The Tale of The Rose”. That’s right. It was written by The Little Prince’s beloved rose, wife of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This is her account, her version of their extraordinary marriage which had spanned 13 long years. Like The Little Prince, it was translated from French. His wife was a writer too and she wrote well. At least, she managed to bring me on an emotional roller-coaster ride from her first meeting with Antoine in Buenos Aires, through war times in France to the time she heard of his final disappearance from the skies while living in New York.

It is a very insightful book to me though the main reason I am recommending this book is how it validates the idiom “there are always two sides to a story”. Indeed, now i see the same relationship from two different perspectives. I really could never look at The Little Prince the same way again. I may have wished I was his unique rose once, after knowing the other side of the story, the modern woman in me is wishing he never return, or if he did, would never stay in such a broken relationship with him.

To say the truth, I am not sure if I would recommend it to those who love The Little Prince, just because The Tale of The Rose will irreversibly change your opinion of him. But everyone deserves to know the full story because only then can you make a more informed choice or form a more rational opinion. And this applies to all aspects of life – whether you are choosing subjects, a course or a school, or you are wondering if your parents or teachers are being fair to you – you need to first know the full story. This book truly reinforced this concept for me.

5. Dylan needs to read.

the original statement goes "they need to read. fast. and remember."

reading is one of my hobbies but i only become an avid reader quite late when i was about 15 years old. i am a slow reader and i savor the process of reading and the ah-ha moments while reading more than to memorize the contents of the book. so i am not so sure about the necessity of "fast" and "remember"? (unless he intends to be a lawyer?!)

but dylan does need to read. and develop a love for reading. not only is it enjoyable but it opens doors and widens horizons and most importantly enhances knowledge. and i am a firm believer in having a passion for learning so i do hope he starts bugging me to buy books for him soon!

4. Dylan needs to tell the truth.

i think this is a given.. honesty and integrity are two virtues every good person would have... they determine if you are reliable, dependable to finish a task the right way... the implications in the real world!! .... i cant imagine how people without these two values live with themselves?!

but how do inculcate these values?

watched a video on Ellen recently of a little boy who lied right through his teeth that he didnt snack when he had not cleaned his mouth... his mother kept reminding him that he should speak the truth but he repeatedly insisted that he didnt snack... made me wonder: where did he learn that lying is a better option?

perhaps we should consciously make the effort to not penalize and instead praise them when they do tell the truth... i mean all too often our first reaction to an unpleasant or painful truth is getting upset and lashing out..

and modeling is always the right way to go... that means admitting to them when we make a mistake and having the courage to confess the truth... 

but perhaps for toddler Dylan, we can start with stories of "cry wolf" and "pinocchio"??

3. Dylan needs to see us light up..

certainly not a cigarette!

but our faces... a slow smile widening with every second the moment he walks in after school. or when we walk in after work...

dylan, without a doubt, has been lighting up my face... even when he is waking me up on the one day i dont have to wake up early... he has a way of brightening my moments now... but i do find it a little hard to imagine this still happening 7 years down the road or *gulp* 14 years down the road...

perhaps, that's why this reminder is here.. it has to happen no matter what. we have to consciously make it happen no matter what. bad work day. hectic crazy day. saddest news received day. no matter the kind of day you had, when you are back home and with your loved ones, they deserve to enjoy the best company you can give and a welcoming smile first thing you step into the house would be the right way to go..

easier said than done? try it anyway!

i believe it will go a long way... towards building trust and bond... and that makes all the difference..

i have to admit.. my heart melts to see his slowly widening smile when he sees me appear... =)

2. Dylan needs to catch moonbeams.

i am not sure if this being point number 2 means it is very very important.. fact is i am not sure if i myself have ever catch moonbeams.. but i suppose it relates to the importance of not taking life too seriously? that it's okay (perhaps even crucial) to sometimes do seemingly futile and silly stuff... i certainly do a lot of those stuff.. life cant be all about work and no play... catching moonbeams should be fun... and a good start to just being appreciative of the present moment... not too mention that beauty.. perhaps he will start asking questions about the universe?

wish i was told when it's a good age to do such things.. is 1.5 years old too young?

1. Dylan needs to see that we love him completely.

yes. we love him completely. the way he is. (bruno mars starts singing..)

it makes perfect sense that this is the very first point. it all boils down to love. to me, it means lots of hugs and kisses, smiles and laughter, cheers and encouragement. no matter what.

as of now, dylan is super lovable. but the terrible two does show up once in a while, then it becomes important to be firm. lovingly and kindly so. all The Little Gym spiels i am so familiar with are coming back to me. ha!

i pray we will always remember this point, especially when what dylan wants isnt what we want.