Falling Down the Chinese Drama Rabbit Hole (Again)

 do lovers wither when separated by vast seas

in all its beauty, the past can't be held

life after life we pledge ourselves

but how long before it forever

expansive world, infinite universe

we are but emotional beings

simply watching over each other

seemingly unfathomable, we understand

may I give my all in this lifetime

as it comes from the heart, I give freely

love like a dream evocative of fine wine

I just want to stay intoxicated

I desire all the world has to offer

joy or sorrow, they all come to pass like flowing rivers

...

...

Had been inspired to attempt this English translation of a beautiful Chinese song when I finally emerged from the drama-induced haze that was Chef Hua <人间烟火花小厨>.

My first experience with obsession over a drama series was for Scarlet Heart <步步惊心>. I had binge-watched all 35 episodes very quickly often forgetting sleep, meals, even toilet breaks. I loved it so much I even bought the book that it was adapted from after the visual feast for more mental indulgence in the art of Chinese literature.

But that experience also left me so overwhelmed that I swore them off entirely. The intensity of the experience, the way it consumed my thoughts and time, shocked me. I promised myself: never to blindly follow the fad of chasing dramas again.

For nearly 10 years I had been successful. I avoided popular dramas fervently. Even if a short footage that I chanced upon intrigued me, I would strengthen my resolve to not start the series for fear of falling into that rabbit hole again.

Last year I succumbed. I had more time on hand; the hubby was out of town; I was getting interested in cooking... so when the close-up shots of cooking Chinese cuisine in Chef Hua caught my eye, I gave it a go.

It was the flint that started an inevitable forest fire.

I tried to rein myself in. When I wanted to start on Love like a Galaxy, <星汉灿烂> but saw that it had more than 50 episodes, I thought I found a good compromise when I found some "watch-it-in-one-go" YouTube videos of it. Just 2 hours is better than 50 x 45 mins right? But I was only deceiving myself and made things worse because I was so impressed and intrigued and obsessed that I watched longer and longer versions and eventually went back to watching the original series anyway! All 40+ hours and sometimes I even re-watched favourite scenes. Kill me.

With easy access via Netflix and YouTube to a wide variety of Chinese dramas that are being produced incessantly, one drama led to another with no end in sight. Over the past year, I have been sliding down the slippery slope of drama addiction once again into a world of complex story lines, historical epics, and modern rom-coms. 

For the talent that is Leo Wu, I watched The Long Ballard <长歌行> to Nothing but You <爱情而已>. I started on Amidst a Snowstorm of Love <在暴雪时分> but amazingly am not completing it because it lost its appeal. Because of the multi-talented Liu Yuning who is also a great singer and the original talent from Scarlet Heart that is Cecilia Liu, I indulged in A Journey to Love <一念关山> when I thought I would be stopping this crazy spree. In between, I completed Love Between Fairy and Devil <苍兰诀> and Only For Love <以爱为营> because of Dylan Wang. Most recently finished The Rational Life <理智派生活> with mummy, a fellow drama junkie.

My favourite of all the series thus far is A Romance of the Little Forest <两个人的小森林>. Initially I thought I would not be able to stand the over-the-top act-cuteness of Esther Yu but it appears that she is genuinely that way even in real life. Eventually even she grew on me although what kept me from abandoning it were the breathtaking scenery, the attractive Vin Zhang and the clever, smart and hilarious banter between the main lead characters who are intellectuals. Not to forget the recurring feature of one of my favourite books, The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, and the sustainability theme which is a passion of both leads. *Swoon* So many of what I love in one series!

It really is a lighthearted and healing drama series. The cinematography often bathes scenes in warm, natural light, evoking a sense of comfort and rejuvenation. It was while *re-watching* one such scene where the female lead mistakenly assumed the male lead is leaning in for a kiss when it finally dawned on me. This was a series that I had curbed myself from watching previously! All I remember of the footage were the luminous frame of an inviting foyer, a sharp-witted dialogue, and an unusually long series title that involved greenery. The irony of my initial resistance to 'A Little Romance in the Forest' becoming my favorite drama is almost comical.

All these series have introduced me to talented actors, beautiful music, fascinating historical details, and clever storytelling. They've improved my understanding of Chinese language and culture, and provided countless hours of entertainment. As I ponder my Chinese drama obsession, I find myself in two minds. Part of me worries about the time I'm investing/wasting and the intensity of my interest. Yet another part revels in the joy, learning, and cultural exploration these dramas bring into my life.

Actually, I had not completed that translation of the song I shared at the beginning of this post. I am unable to adequately translate the last two lines which can also be encapsulated in the song's title "人间烟火". Its literal translation would be "the smoke and fire of the human world" but these four basic characters encompass so much more. It often represents the simple pleasures and small comforts of daily life. It can mean an in-depth appreciation of ordinary life. It can also symbolize the connection to humanity and the earthly realm, as opposed to the supernatural or divine. 

So for more than a year now, I had been grappling with its true meaning. Do I translate it as:

• "the enormity of our lives", 
• "the daily life of ordinary people", 
• "the hustle and bustle of human society", 
• "the warmth and vitality of everyday life",
• "the trivial but essential aspects of human existence"
• "The flavor of everyday life"
• "The warmth of human touch"
• "The pulse of the mortal world"
• "The heartbeat of society"?

Its complexity has me stumped. Interestingly, it is also this phrase (which kept reappearing in my series marathon) that encapsulates much of what I love about Chinese dramas - the portrayal of human living in all its everyday glory and complexity. 

So, obsession or not, I am going to allow myself to be continuously surprised and delighted by "the essence of human experience"!

Restarting the Engine

A casual chat with a friend recently led to the revival of my LinkedIn account. 

Not something I thought would happen after failing to transition into a new industry that I was aiming for with my Masters in Science Communication back in 2018, and certainly far from my considerations after moving halfway around the world to a vastly different setting from my birthplace last year.

When I was still in the education service, as fulfilling as it had been, I eventually came to an understanding of what I do not want and what I do want out of my career. Unfortunately, the list of do-nots was disproportionately longer than the dos in my role as a teacher. So I left. 

I was optimistic about my "new" prospects in what I considered to be a niche industry for which I had deep passion for. Until I simply was, not. Around the same time, the husband began his research into migrating to a more preferable, desirable country. The whole notion of landing a "sustainability focused, financially rewarding, energetically flowy" career was just, shelved.

Honestly thought I read enough self-help materials to realize the dangers of attaching my sense of identity to work. However, beyond that, I truly believe I have so much more to give and offer than just being a housewife. Thus I promptly got into action when the said friend mentioned the availability of remote roles on LinkedIn!

 

The engine has successfully restarted. 

Well, at least I am pleased and confident enough to share my latest sample work as a freelance writer on Stoicism. Coincidentally, a philosophy that resonated with me after learning about Marcus Aurelius. Even more serendipitous that I just finished his Meditations! Intrigued? Read my introduction to a book on this timeless philosophy.. (although it is targeted at youngsters, I truly think Stoicism is for everybody!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Introduction

External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. -Marcus Aurelius

I stumbled upon the above quote in the aftermath of uncertainties brought about by the Covid-19 pandemic. Life is an ever-changing landscape that shaped our roller-coaster journey through which we navigate essentially alone. The pandemic with its enforced isolation had brought out the uglier side of humanity. It was against such a depressive backdrop that this little bit of Stoic philosophy stood out for me like a beacon of clarity and wisdom.

Discovering Stoicism: A Turning Point

Imagine it is 2020. The coronavirus is spreading to all parts of the world. We are isolated. The news that we get each day consists of which new country has it landed in, the number of infected people, the shortage of supplies, the difficulties, the inconveniences. The death toll. My mind is clouded with anxiety, frustration, and helplessness. I go through the mechanics of the day like a zombie. But when I read this quote, it shone through the darkness like a torch of a thousand suns. Indeed we have the power to erase the actual problem.

A Personal Odyssey: Applying Stoic Principles

From the genius of Marcus Aurelius, I studied other key figures of Stoicism including Zeno of Citium, Seneca and Epicetus. Each ancient had me delved ever deeper into Stoic philosophy and I found myself embracing the concept of identifying what lies within my sphere of control and letting go of all that lies without. It has transformed not just my perspective but my very approach to living.   

The Essence of Stoicism

Stoicism may seem like an abstract philosophy but to put it plainly, it is a way of life. The core of which is the pursuit of eudaimonia - a state of “flourishing" that is the result of living in accordance with nature and virtue (Pigliucci, 2024). When one practices this diligently, it is equivalent to gaining a superpower that helps one to stay strong and calm when the going gets tough.

The Relevance of Stoicism To Young People

As a secondary school teacher for more than a decade, I have witnessed first-hand the many challenges and difficulties faced by young people. From academic struggles and social pressures to mental health issues and family problems, youngsters can use all the help they can get to navigate all kinds of situations and overcome obstacles. I wish I had discovered Stoicism earlier so that more of my students could have benefited from my knowledge of Stoicism. It is evident to me that its core principles offer a crucial guiding light in chaotic times, a roadmap for them to navigate life’s tumultuous seas of the growing up years.

Walking the Stoic Path: A Call to Action

Here let me formally invite you to discover for yourself the timeless wisdom of Stoicism. It is the wish of all teachers for our students, young people who will be the leaders of tomorrow, to achieve their fullest potential. The Stoic Path can guide and lead you on a journey of powerful transformation if you weave its principles into the fabric of your life. May this exploration be your source of inspiration and empowerment, guiding you through the vicissitudes of puberty and beyond with courage and grace.

VWYW

Today I stepped into a changing room of a retail shop. The full length mirror and hooks on the wall looked oddly strange yet familiar. I could not recall when was the last time I stepped into one. That is how long ago since I last did any shopping. Not because of the pandemic restrictions, not because I switched to online shopping (I find it difficult to buy clothes without trying them first) but for environmental reasons. 

I totally subscribe to the new Rs of sustainability. The most familiar 3Rs - reduce, reuse and recycle - are just not sufficient anymore. The number one R that can truly make a difference is refuse. I refuse to indulge my past careless purchases of clothing which are left forgotten in the wardrobe. I have no qualms about taking over second hand clothes so I do refresh my wardrobe when absolutely necessary, just not with brand new items off the rack. I shop at Fashion Pulpit!

So why am I buying something brand new off the shelves?! An unforeseen circumstance had left me no time to get home to retrieve an essential clothing so this purchase is out of a need to fulfill a work requirement. I was already at a mall then so it definitely made more sense to make a purchase than to make a detour back home for something easily found where I was.

I am quite thrifty (read: stingy although I also have to acknowledge that branded items tend to be of better quality and therefore last longer which will actually be more sustainable) so while browsing the price was a major factor which I kept track of as I went from shop to shop. Nothing seemed to fit in my budget. At the final shop, I had quite a few choices of a range of prices which were still not within my budget but something else caught my eye. 

RECYCLED POLYESTER FROM POST CONSUMER WASTE 

 I went straight for the changing room. I had picked out three different styles each with the abovementioned label. It fits. It fulfilled the need. I paid for the least expensive one I had tried even though it was not the cheapest I saw from all the shops I went to. At that moment, I realised I just voted with my wallet. However pretty soon, I started to doubt if voting with your wallet (VWYW) can really make a difference, especially by a consumer who is not willing to spend much in the first place. Hahaha! There is also the issue of greenwashing to consider...

Well, I do need to spend that money and I would really rather be supporting companies that attempt to help the environment than those that are just out to maximise profits. It just feels like the right thing to do despite the uncertainty of its effectiveness. Or I can even say that it personally feels wrong to buy anything else when I know I have this option now. Anyway, I see it as an advantage in simplifying my decision making process.

This seems to suggest that I might have worried for nothing. Good to know. And oooo.... there are quite a few Certified B Corporations in Singapore I can knock on the doors of!

Shopping! Gifting? Choosing.

I love a good deal. Thus when I received the advert about additional discount and extra rebate by a particular departmental store, I knew I had to go as I had been eyeing this brand of shoes which they carry. Despite knowing that it was the Black Friday weekend, I was still taken aback by the queues. Queue to enter, queue to pay, queue for free wrapping, it was swarming with people. I was surprised and a little sad.

That brand of shoes (anothersole) had a special offer of 40% on second pair on top of the advertised markdown. I was tempted enough to start texting my family if anyone was keen but unfortunately (or fortunately?) they were not and the particular pair that I wanted had ran out of my size. 😦 I tried on other models which my big feet could fit but ultimately I chose not to get any.

However that was not why I felt sad. It had been a while since I went to the malls to shop. Standing among the crowds with incredible deals shouting for attention across four floors of the shopping centre, I could not help but wonder if it was consumerism at its worst. With Christmas just around the corner, it was almost certain that most of the purchases being rung up at the cashiers would end up as gifts. Gifts that sadly, more often than not end up unused and forgotten, therefore wasted.

 

Facebook memories recently reminded me that I shared the above infographic some years back. I think most of my family and friends know that I prefer not to receive gifts. I made it very plain what kind of memories I wish for (any chance to be up close and personal with Aaron or Kitty!) 🤣 I wish more people know of these alternatives. And my niece and nephew understand why they rarely get presents from this auntie.

Annual sales such as these also beg the question if one is really getting a good deal. The following meme got me laughing out loud and you got to admit that there is at least a nugget of truth in it! Unless you have been keeping track of the price of the item, how do you know that the discount stated was really a discount? It is so very easy to pick up other items in a big store since you are already there and you are already going to stand in the queue. Suddenly, something that was not on your shopping list becomes something the child of so-and-so might like for Christmas.

And I totally wish that this particular fantasy can become a reality. Even if it is not as serious as a mental illness, it is a fact that most people do not make conscious choices when it comes to buying things. It is on sale, buy. I can afford it, buy. Everyone has it, buy. That is so pretty, buy. What a fashion statement, buy. People will be so impressed, buy... 

If you do not care about how overconsumption is causing a strain on our only home's resources, at least consider how much you can save if you do not buy. 🤷 Start considering every want-to-buy-item in terms of "how long do I have to work for it" instead of how much money it cost. I realised I have unconsciously switched to this mode of thinking since becoming a paid-by-hour freelance teacher! 

So, choose to be a conscious consumer ok? 😼

Too Environmentally Conscious?

I prefer dining in to taking away. Period. I honestly feel a heartache if I have to use one-time disposables. So whenever possible, I will choose to have a sit-down meal even if it means I have to look out of place eating on my own. I have become so thick-skinned in that sense.

Along my journey, I am really thankful to discover alternatives such as beewax wraps, Keepleaf and Roll'Eat that allow me to not incur disposables when I am in a hurry. When I was moving into my own apartment, one of the first things I "stole" from my parents was a tingkat container. Haha!

So you can imagine I almost never order deliveries. Generally too cheapskate to pay for the delivery fees but also just unable to deal with the amount of plastic that inevitably comes with each one. However, during this circuitbreaker period when so many of our hawkers are adversely affected, I do want to help in my small ways. I ordered something which I had been craving but unable to find anywhere within walking distance. And I intentionally chose a hawker who is engaging private drivers (as they will receive 100% of the delivery fee) to deliver their food so as to kill multiple birds with one stone. #HawkersUnited #savefnbsg Support local hawkers! Satay forever!

But without a dine-in option, meals have been mostly settled at home. Definitely getting more comfortable in the kitchen! In the rare times when I do dabao, I would certainly have to plan in advance. What to eat? Is it dry or soupy? What containers to bring? Are they big enough? And I think through my approach.. my first question to the seller is always if they will accept my container. Unfortunately despite the government's call to BYO, it is still the hawker's prerogative to accept them. And I am prepared to walk away if they say no. I also tend to approach stalls that are less busy and thus will be less stressed about a disruption to their routine. Yes, I recognise that it might break their flow.

From when I first began years ago, being embarrassed and paiseh about my request, to now after trying-and-testing at various places on numerous occasions, I thought I found my balance point between convenience and environmentalism. 

I was not prepared for today.

Out on my grocery run/cycle, I had my tingkat ready and brought along my all-encompassing food bag just in case the tingkat is too small for the char siew rice I had in mind. While waiting for my rice, I spied some chwee kuey nearby and since I had an extra container, I seized the opportunity to buy myself an extra treat.

"Auntie, 水粿5个. 可以放里面吗?" 
(5 please. Can you put them in?) Pointing to my bag.

She eyed my bag and gave a nod so I waited happily.... until I observed her scooping the chwee kuey while my bag was far from her.

"Auntie, 可以直接放里面.这个可以放食物的." 
(You can put them in directly. This bag is specifically for food.) 
I tried to reassure her as I had done many times with other hawkers.

She still looked unconvinced but with some gentle persistence, she finally transferred them into my bag. I mentally heaved a sigh of relief and hoped she becomes more accepting in future with this first occurrence.

As she watched me closed up my bag.... "你太环保了" 
(You are too environmentally conscious)

My heart and face fell. Or sank. So hard I thought I heard a thud somewhere. I was momentarily stunned and I did not know how to respond. I wondered if my eyes above my mask reflected what I felt inside. And I am still feeling it right now as I type. 🙁

I suppose this is the whole crux of the problem?

I get it that we are already used to a lifestyle where things are efficient and convenient. 
I get it that not everyone has had the same experiences as me to want to go to this extent to avoid plastic. 
I get it that my individual efforts right now may not so much make a dent of a difference to the issue our collective presence imposes on this planet. 

But, TOO environmentally conscious? How can anyone be too much of the right thing to do? How about just becoming more conscious of choices and decisions made?

how about a journey down down down under?

A friend who has been helping me keep a lookout for sustainability related jobs forwarded the Antarctic Sabbatical link to me. A special program organised by Airbnb and Ocean Conservancy. I have to say it both excites and scares me a little. I mean what an opportunity this will be! It will certainly be a great stepping stone into the industry I have so much interest in. But I am one of those who would rather die of heat than cold and the idea of working in such extreme conditions is daunting. 

Well, you will never know till you try right? So I gamely took up my friend's challenge/recommendation and applied for it! I definitely meet all of the basic requirements and I also needed to pen a less than 500 words essay about why I want to be part of this program to investigate the presence of microplastics on the most isolated continent on Earth. 

I spent quite some time crafting it so have decided to post it here although I have also just received confirmation that I had not been selected for the program. I am kinda glad for that. 🤣

~~~~~~~~

For an ordinary someone from a tiny country located close to the equator, the South Pole in Antarctica feels as unattainable as space travel. I am certainly not immune to the beauty of Antarctica – magnificent glaciers, mysterious icebergs and that vastness of ice and snow. But being familiar with its reputation as being extremely remote and harsh, I have never considered the possibility of setting foot on the continent, until now.

I have a wanderlust which sees me travelling out of my little red dot at least twice a year. Surprising to most of my peers, I have a preference for roughing it out while trekking in Nepal and Bhutan – two destinations on my bucket list – compared to luxurious vacations in Europe. If I am selected for this expedition, Antarctica will become the third place I never knew was on my bucket list until I was made aware of this sabbatical. I love the outdoors and being surrounded by nature. Having spent most of my life in sunny, warm and developed Singapore where the closest I can get to nature is a rustic island named Pulau Ubin, Antarctica will be a drastic but an exciting change of environment for me to reconnect with nature. Perhaps that is exactly what I need, a 360 degrees switch to experience nature in a different and deeper way.

Besides riding snowmobiles and seeing penguins in their natural habitats, what excites me the most about the expedition is the opportunity to apply my training in Science Communication and contribute to scientific research that will make a positive difference for our planet. I am that friend whom others refrain from using plastic when I am present. I am often the odd one out rejecting plastics and bringing out my personal reusable items at a social gathering. Some times my friends ask me for opinions and insights relating to environmental issues. In fact I would not have found out about this expedition if not for a friend who knows just how concerned I am about the plastic problem plaguing our planet right now. Being an avid diver, I have seen first hand the negative impact humans have on our oceans. But one can only do so many clean-up dives and I know I can contribute much much more. This expedition feels right up my alley.

There had been times when I felt one individual’s effort cannot make a difference to the humongous crisis of plastic we face right now, but I now truly believe every small action by any individual in the right direction steer us closer towards the path to sustainability. I have always try to lead by example; I hope this will be the most impactful example I can show the world. Finally, this might be my only chance to see a whale up close and personal!

Plastic Free July

So for the whole of last month, I decided to put a focus on plastic. The #plasticfreejuly movement has actually started way back in 2011 but I only heard about it on 1st July this year through one of the many environmental advocacy groups I follow. Although it felt late in the game but the idea of being part of the solution really resonated with me so I joined the challenge!

Since embarking on this journey to reduce waste, especially plastic, I have seen enough responses and reactions to know that my efforts will not always be appreciated. So it is certainly a challenge - not so much the actions of reducing plastic but to be prepared to be rejected or even ridiculed. But since the decision was made, I committed to it by changing my profile picture and cover page on Facebook and basically made an online declaration about it.

I do like this year's logo which included a turtle. That video of a turtle suffering with a straw in its nose was probably what started me off on this journey in the first place. What better image to use as a profile picture right? And for the cover page, I applied my creative juices on Canva once again to design my very own with a slogan to boot!

Initially I really thought I would be posting and hashtagging every single day but as I wanted to be authentic and only to relate something I personally do, finding something to post everyday was not easy at all. But I tried my best and really made an effort to at least set some time each day to consider what I could share and managed to post something on Facebook 13 days out of 31 days.

Perhaps because I was conscious of the possible backlash, the text accompanying my posts are "mild"? Well, I am always super conscious about what I post online anyway... I hoped I came across as encouraging rather than imposing and more often than not, I included my failures and shortcomings in my attempts to show how this journey will not be easy but not impossible. Because (see image)

Where I held back in my written stories to the images and posts, I was consistent in the hashtags that accompanied them. #plasticfreejuly is a given. #byobsg and #saynotosingleuseplastic are almost always relevant. #consciouschoices is one I came up with as I realised it was exactly what most people are not making which contributed to the problem. And finally #motherearthisworththeinconvenience is one I thought up last year when I posted about my experience reducing waste for a camp in school because our mother earth really is worth it. 

I am really glad I did it though I was not sure how much of an impact I made. For most posts, I received a range of 5 to 14 likes, usually from the same people. The most likes I received was for a post on OCK [19 likes] - was it because many people liked OCK or the way to avoid plastic using a silicon bag was the easiest to implement? And I received almost no comments at all save for the last one on supposedly zerowaste items I bought for home. I received one comment. So I was not able to start conversations either.

I suppose all these are within my (lowered) expectations. And like a teacher who will never know the extent of the influence he or she has on students, perhaps, hopefully I have planted some seeds of change in some minds in this short time of a month.

My ZW intended Wedding

my self-made mini bouquet made of shells - spot the rings!

If you have no idea what ZW refers to, perhaps this post will not interest you. Although the concept of zero waste is getting increasingly common, I personally think it is really important to frame it properly and realise that ZW is a desirable and even essential goal but to achieve absolute ZW given our current lifestyle will not be easy. Sometimes it feels downright impossible especially when you care about your relationships with others.

I have always cared about the environment, the main reason most people got started on this journey. Beginning from my uni days when I joined NUS Students Against Violation of the Earth (SAVE) group, I really want to be part of the solution by acting and choosing consciously in my everyday life. But I would say I only really learnt about sustainability and the power of choices and actions after joining the Facebook group - Journey to Zero Waste (JtZW) in Oct 2016. That is how my intention to make my own wedding a ZW one came about.

First of all, I am not the person to go to when planning events. I dread organising this sort of thing and easily get disheartened by the mere knowledge of the potential waste that such events almost inevitably incur. But as this was my own wedding, with newfound insight to ZW possibilities and the support of a fiance hailing from the country with world's highest recycling rate, I somehow found the strength and faith in myself to want to make it happen.

In my mind when I began planning the wedding, I remembered distinctively that I wanted a small and simple wedding. Many ZW-based choices simply come down to doing away with what is not necessary and having attended my fair share of weddings, I knew what I did not want in mine. Unfortunately for my now-hubby whose idea of "small and simple" was just the signing of the papers with immediate family, I did still want to involve my extended family and at least the tea ceremony. Still traditional in some ways.. and somehow the wedding became a lot more elaborate than expected.

Venue(s)

With the initial idea of "small wedding", I first looked at restaurants that are able to cater to less than 100 people but after taking into consideration the location, cuisine and whether they served sharks fin (big no no!!), each of them was eliminated one by one. Eventually I contacted my first choice hotel, found their package fitting and our date available that I just stopped looking at others!

PARKROYAL on Pickering is my first choice because it is an eco-friendly hotel and I just love the whole architecture design with greenery along flowy lines. It was also easy to finalise on it as it was where Axel and I had our first staycation together. Lots of sweet memories already made here.
The package we selected was a basic solemnisation one without excessive themed decorations or wedding favours. (One of the first things I knew I did not want to have at my wedding.) Given their status as a Green City Hotel, I made assumptions that waste in the hotel is already minimised. However during our meetings with the manager Joelyn, I did explicitly state that I was aiming for a ZW wedding and even suggested to them to consider rolling out a ZW-focused wedding package! It will be such a niche, befitting the hotel!

After deciding on having a lunch buffet at the hotel which cater for an ideal number of 100 guests, and with various queries from friends who found out about our upcoming wedding, I began toying with the idea of also having a dinner party just for friends. As Axel had been very accommodating to my preferences with regard to my family, I thought it would be lovely to have the dinner venue to be somewhere distinctively German. Again, without spending too much time and effort, we swiftly decided on Stuttgart Blackforest Boutique S-Cafe. Similarly, during our meetings with manager Wen Cheng, we made it known our intention to make it a ZW event and thus one of the first points that he took note of was to "hide the straws". Unfortunately, some wastage I had not forsee and had to accept included paper table signage, paper napkins and plastic dessert containers here. Could I have insisted on cloth napkins? Hmmm....

For both venues, as they are proper dining venues with actual cutlery and kitchen ware, no disposables were used despite both meals being buffets. This point was very important to me. Each venue also had its own unique ambience and design that there was no need for me to bring in additional decorations even if I wanted to. Finally, I like that both venues are within walking distance to a MRT station and centrally located in or near Orchard. Although I could not possibly have controlled how my guests arrive for our wedding, at least the option to take public transport was not totally out of question!

Food 

From most wedding banquets that I had attended, unfinished food at every course was almost a given.

Thus, I preferred the idea of buffets for which I can somewhat control the amount of food being prepared by ordering less than the expected number of guests, a suggestion I learned from JtZW group. As it was still highly likely to be leftover food, I fiddled with the idea of purchasing mason jars or similar as wedding favours so that guests may immediately utilise them to pack the excess food home. I put this idea forward to the JtZW group and received a lot of feedback from the community which brought up food safety concern among other considerations that I had not factored in. Through that post, a founder of Food Rescue @ Events reached out to me to consider having their team to save the remaining food after our meals. What a brilliant idea!

Naturally, Axel and I were both very keen to prevent the excess food from going to waste but getting approval from the respective venues was not as easy as we thought. Given Singapore has implemented time-stamping on cooked food, the managers were understandably resistant to have a third-party collect the food for later consumption. Thankfully, myself together with the volunteers of Food Rescue @ Events were able to  reassure and convince them that the food were taken at our own risk and I was very happy to see the food being packed to benefit others.

 

 

Bouquet and Floral

I have never really been a flower lover. Generally I prefer admiring and smelling them while they are still planted with roots in the soil so I did not really see the need for floral decorations at our venues or even a bridal bouquet. Such a pity for these to subsequently wither and die, no?

Over at PARKROYAL, the package was inclusive of table centrepieces by their own florist. There was also a slightly larger setup for the reception table which doubled up as table decor for the solemnisation table held on a different level. Love the innovation of my bridesmaids! I only hoped that these were reused or re-purposed by the hotel given their green status and my conversation with manager Joelyn. On hindsight, perhaps I could have collected them and redistribute them to a nursing home like the people from Happy Flowers. But the logistics of it..... hmmmm......

I really almost got away without a bridal bouquet until my sisters/bridesmaids heard of it and would have nothing of it. One of them was ready to order and pay on my behalf so I gave in and accepted her florist's number. Surprisingly, I ended up quite liking what I saw (simple stalks tied together with twine) and made arrangement with said florist. We were at the point of payment when I found out there would be a lot of wastage from that one bouquet as she does not have a shop and could not benefit from economies of scale nor save the excess. And when I finally decided to go with it anyhow she was no longer available. I wouldn't be surprised that she might be just weary of having to deal with a ZW-focused bride..

As even mummy dearest stated that I should have a bridal bouquet, I began a search for it albeit reluctantly. And I did find my dream bridal bouquet eventually! On Carousell no less! Just happened to chance on it and even Axel was receptive to it so we agreed to rent this gorgeous grey-silver masterpiece. Moreover, it totally matched my shoes and Axel's vest on that day! Really love that it is such a statement piece and can be reused again and again. If I knew I would have a bridal bouquet, I would have made my own bridal brooch bouquet! Maybe with a touch of red..

On a side note, Carousell was also where I found perfectly reusable bridal car decor that dolled up the car without being overdone! Fixed them up on the car myself with the help of daddy dearest with some satin ribbons from my own craft collection. Within a week after the wedding, re-sold them on Carousell!

One thing the traditional me wanted to do was to express my gratitude to my parents during the wedding. After all, it has been nearly 40 years before they could marry me off and really I am who I am today only because of their love, care and upbringing. When it came to selecting a gift for this purpose, I was very pleased to discover Bloomback which not only re-purpose flowers to more lasting gifts but also train and hire marginalised women.

Attires, Hair and Makeup 

My wedding makeup artist was the first person I hired in the planning of my wedding. I hardly wear makeup and am nowhere near even proficient when it comes to prettifying myself. This was one task I knew would be outsourced and it had to be no other than her as I really liked what she did for my bestie for her wedding. She being a professional MUA would also be less likely to waste all the makeup products necessary for the task. I was also quite glad that she did not generate much waste (only 2 tissue papers!) during the process although I made no mention of aiming to be ZW to her. Additionally, she was able to loan me a gorgeous veil for the day! Unfortunately, I lost the dried flowers in my hair which she wanted to reuse and I also threw away the fake eyelashes at the end of the day.

My first option for wedding dress was to rent but I was unable to find one I really like despite trying on quite a few. Next I looked at purchasing one that is versatile enough to still be worn in the future. But mummy dearest wanted me to look like a bride so in one afternoon with my mother and sister-in-law, we browsed dresses on Taobao and found an ideal one in ivory (not white) with a low back. Again, not wanting to waste time and effort, we ordered it. It came and it fit and so it was settled! It is now listed on Carousell and hopefully not be hanging in my wardrobe for too long.

My shoes was a pair I had for more than a year but never worn. It was not bought for the wedding but it turned out to match the dress and bouquet quite beautifully. Similarly, Axel wore a suit and shoes he already owned. However, considering Singapore's humid weather, he had a grey vest tailor-made so that he could have the option of removing the coat and still look well-dressed.

 

Invitations

This was one item I was certain I did not want to waste for the wedding. So I made full use of my aesthetic side and created my own e-invites with the help of Canva. What an amazing tool! I had so much fun designing and redesigning not just the invitations to the lunch and dinner, but even some background slides that was projected on the big screens during the event and an instruction sheet for the reception table.

The invitations were Whatsapp-ed to my guests and I maintained the guest lists (and wedding day schedule) entirely on Google Sheets so I could keep the printing of documents to a minimum.

 

Photobooth?

As we were not having wedding favours, and there were going to be some waiting time in the schedule, I considered the idea of having a photobooth where guests could have fun making memories during our wedding and at least bring home a picture as a keepsake. But eventually I decided digital photos were just fine. But I did make my own photobooth props for the ocassion! Almost all out of recycled materials. Super proud of myself. I was also very luckily blessed by someone from the JtZW group with some used party decorations which I incorporated into mine as a backdrop for the photobooth. These were thereafter reblessed to others in the same group.

Final Thoughts

I tried my best. Really gave this shot to the best of my ability. But as the ex-teacher in me would say, "There is always room for improvement." And when you are planning a major event that involves your family who do not quite buy in to the entire ZW concept, compromises need to be made. With a lot of the traditions carried down over generations, my mother and I had a lot of give-and-take. Initially, I said "no" to many things as I really do not wish to purchase a brand new item that would only be used for a few moments. My mother ended up purchasing new fan, umbrella, lamps and tea set amongst other items because she really believed that these would ensure a blissful marriage for Axel and myself. But my stubborness had also deterred her somewhat that with some "essential" items, instead of buying them for me, she gave an angbao for each in lieu.

Anyhow, I think the most important thing in any wedding of any sort, ZW or not, is to have fun! I had loads of fun and really really enjoyed our special day with our dearest and closest. ☺️

fashion conscious? eco conscious!

that is a pretty goodlooking jumpsuit right?

and i think i look quite fetching in it =P

i didn't buy it.

despite recommendation from someone with an eye for this kind of thing to "grab it!"..

despite going back to the shop a second time to try it

despite the willingness of hubby-to-be to splurge on it

i am definitely not one who is on the forefront of fashion but once in a long while i do like to dress up when the occasion calls for it. like most girls, i can have quite a lot of fun trying on clothes in a changing room but most times i leave those gorgeous garments back on the rack. one of the main deterrents to making them mine is the cost. although i am also starting to appreciate the fact that higher-end products also mean better quality. a point the hubby-to-be is trying to drill into me..

long before i heard of KonMari, i read about a hack for the wardrobe which made me realised just how many of my clothing are left hanging without being worn even once. moreover, as i become more and more environmentally conscious and learnt how devastating the fashion industry really is, i am more prudent than ever when it comes to fashion.

besides ending most of my fashion-related decisions with a "no", i also started exploring more sustainable options. ethical retailers, rental services, second-hand shopping and clothes swapping are some possibilities. through a facebook group on zero waste, i discovered The Fashion Pulpit. With 2 bags of clothes that no longer spark joy, i finally made my way to this "permanent swapping fashion space".

 

prior to the visit, my expectations were low as shopping isn't my favourite pastime and i had no idea  how much the clothes i brought along were worth. what a pleasant surprise i had! it turned out to be really enjoyable as not only was the space so tastefully decorated and charmingly serene, i received a lot more "points" than i thought and couldn't find enough clothes! even after three rounds of browsing, picking and trying dozens of tops, bottoms and dresses in the spacious fitting room, i came away with 7 pieces of clothing and a leather sling bag which only used up half the points i was allocated!

thankfully, they have a relatively flexible system with a one-time swap option which allows me to freeze the unused points for next time. i really had a lot more fun than i thought. in fact, a little too much fun - the idea was to reduce the amount of clothing i have, i thought i would only come away with one "new" top, not 7 + 1?!?! but i felt like i had money to spare with those extra points and really allowed myself to indulge in some retail therapy without the usual guilt... will certainly be back.. perhaps if and when i need work clothes?

how about you? shop less and swap more... make a difference today!